How to Talk to Girls
As a guy, learning how to talk to girls can be one of the most challenging and rewarding skill he can acquire during his lifetime. Would you agree that being able to carry a proper conversation with a girl would solve a LOT of problems ?
I know many guys agree that this is one of the most neglected aspects when it comes to dating advice, and yet, it is so critical to succeed!
One of the biggest issues among men that are struggling with women is that they “Just don’t know what to talk about!”.
I feel you.
I’ve had that awkward silence too.
The moment where something SHOULD of been said, but it was not.
The moment where you both kind of look at each other and think… “ok this is not good”
When this happens, women will often think: “We just don’t connect” and it’s at that point that the date goes downhill.
Actually, that’s probably one of the biggest fear that men have and it’s the reason why a lot of guys won’t even go start a conversation!
The reason is that most people try to figure out the “ideal topic of conversation” beforehand. As if, if you were to introduce this ideal topic, you would both have a wonderful time talking about it for hours and hours and eventually the woman would fall in love with you, just because you had the right topic of conversation.
Sound silly?
That’s because it is.
Yet people STILL try to find that ideal conversation topic!
So do yourself a favor, do ME a favor, stop it and just start off with any conversation topic. Usually bad ones will do, and as the conversation progresses, you can steer the conversation to any topics you wish to discuss.
Alright, because we all like to be spoon fed information, I’ll break it down even more.
I realize that saying “Any Topic Will Do” will not help most guys because you’re probably still wondering.. “OK, but what do I talk about?” Well start by things that are relevant to you first.
It’s really hard to be relevant to other people, and people with high value tend to think of themselves anyways, so STARTING with a topic that is relevant in your life is always a great way to start a conversation. At the same time, it will sub-consciously convey values of self-worth and confidence which are both attractive.
For example, if you’re on your way to go grocery shopping, start with that!
“Hey, I was just watching the cooking channel and I was inspired to make some
Now it’s likely that she doesn’t really care about you going grocery shopping, but if the story, your thought process, is interesting enough, then it will be entertaining to talk about. When in doubt, talk about your thought process about an activity and it will ALWAYS provide natural conversation.
People are bored, stories about your life can be as entertaining as watching that last episode of Lost, House or even
Conversations are like fires, once they are ignited with the right kindling, there’s no stopping them. Trust me when I tell you, you’ll KNOW when to change topic, it will come naturally. Until then, just continue talking about what interests you the most, because if it’s interesting to YOU, you’ll talk about it in an enthusiastic and entertaining manner.
The next thing you wonder how to talk to girls, just keep in mind that conversations are like fire, they need to be slowly started with little light pieces before you can move on to the heavy stuff!
Related articles include: What to Talk About With Girls (Probably the best article on this site!) and for day time specifics, Talking to girls during the day
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Awesome Tips,it really boosted a confidence in myself coz i’ve been suffering from same problem for a gr8 time.thanks Chris,really thanks…
Comment by Anupam — July 27, 2008 @ 11:52 am
that didn’t work for me srry
Comment by KewlDood — September 4, 2008 @ 10:20 pm
help i need help talking to a girl any girl or anyone i go talk to someone then cant figure out what to say or talk about and it drives me crazy.i mean i like hang out with friends n such i go talk about something then i stop try so hard talk to a girl it actually gives me headaches please help me thanks
Comment by Mike lutton — October 15, 2008 @ 3:33 pm
I have some suggestions for the people that need a tad bit of help. Girls don’t really wanted to be treated very differently,if anything they will find that sexist,treat them as you would a good friend,be yourself, hiding the truth won’t help;it would come out eventually. Now,when I say be yourself,of course there are some rules on this subject…. Don’t go all out saying perverted jokes or make fun of them, unless you know 100% that they won’t mind it. Act a tad bit more…gentleman like,but not too much because it is very noticeable.. Now I don’t have much time so that’s all I can post. If it didn’t help you then I’m sorry, this method of actually treating them like humans the same species actually works quite well. Best of luck to you all!
Comment by Mike — October 29, 2008 @ 12:08 am
You probally won’t ever see the woman/girl again if she does not give you her information, so just tell yourself that and go for it. I mean, what do you have to lose or risk if you just go up to someone you’ll never see again if they reject you? And atleast you’ll learn what not to do for the next time. Count to 5 while building confidence in yourself and once you hit 5, GO! Don’t hold back. Take a deep breathe in, then breathe out as you get to her, and start your conversation.
“I was just going out for a job and then I seen you. I have some work to get done but I would like to see you again, is that alright?” and if she says “Uh, sure.” or any variation of “Yes” then just say “Do you have an Email Address by chance?” and if she says yes, take it, look at it for just a moment and then look at her and smile[if you want] and say “Well, I will be on my way then. Talk to you later.” and keep walking. If she doesn’t have an email, ask her if she wants yours. If nothing works and she just rejects you, just say “Well it was nice meeting you. Have a nice day.” and walk away. GOODLUCK!
Comment by RevRogue — October 30, 2008 @ 7:23 am
Thanks i’ll try it as soon as possible
Comment by Mike — November 29, 2008 @ 11:19 am
Guys, if it’s hard for you to talk to girls in person then start off in a more easier way. Join a social network that provides live chat that the girl you want to talk to uses(I’d recommend facebook or msn) whenever she’s on try and talk to her. If she’s rejecting you talking to her then ditch talking to her. It isn’t worth it talking to an asshole. If she’s becoming interested on the chat. Then keep going. Eventually you and her will be comfortable to meet at school or after school to hang out. Problem solved
Comment by Finn — January 28, 2009 @ 3:10 am
hey i need help, my confidence with girls is pretty bad, i cant even keep a conversation going for more than a few minutes, i really need help on boosting my self confidence, ever time i speak to a good looking girl, i either freeze up or say the wrong things which gives them a bad impression, i would appreciate some advice, thanks
Comment by Matt — February 14, 2009 @ 2:33 am
I support the idea of been youself only, treat girls just like a frineds, tell the jokes, discuss issues, remember moments and things will go right. They will laugh and enjoy your company snd henceforth and slowly you can drive them to the track that you want. Don’t start directly with your target(i want to be your friend) because that might turn them off you
Comment by Mohammed El H — February 15, 2009 @ 12:54 am
thanks, i took your advise and went for it, were talking abit now, i walk to school the same way as her so that helps with the talking, thanks again
Comment by Matt — February 18, 2009 @ 12:18 am
Talk just about what you her ask questions and strange ones and remember to listen and build off of that. Don’t plan improvise in chess you never plan how the game will end when you start the game if plan how it will end in the start you will always lose. Talking is not planned it is exspressing your thoughts and opinions and your thoughts of her ideas and opinions. you can never plan for everything.
Comment by Andrew — February 25, 2009 @ 5:31 pm
ok thanks i’ll remember that, anyway this guy was coming onto a girl i like at school and making her feel uncomfortable, and when she tried to leave him and his mates wouldnt let her, so i had a great idea, i went over to them and confronted the douch, haha he dared me to fight him so i punched him strate in the face, which of course made his mates lunge for me, but by that time all my mates and other guys i know had jumped in and we started being the crap out of them, and now she thinks im a great guy, haha sometimes violence is the answer X D
Comment by Matt — February 27, 2009 @ 9:01 pm
im a girl who happened to stumble upon this website haha and i agree with all the advice given.
just be calm and be yourself because we know when you’re putting on an act and its just a turn off really.. it always helps to break the ice with a joke and even light flirting once you get to know her, but the main thing to remember is BE FRIENDLY and that should do the trick
Comment by M — March 2, 2009 @ 4:22 pm
Well I’m in Highschool and I’d like to talk to this girl in my math class so what do I say?
Or if I see a pretty girl whats the first thing I should say, does complementing her help?
Comment by Joseph E. — March 7, 2009 @ 5:40 pm
i have no game what so ever. for example i was at a friends party the other night and this girl i had recently met a few weeks ago we have hung out at partys and at a mutal friends house at least once a week. we were at the party the other night and i had bought her a bottle of wine which is what she typically drinks she was as happy as could be she was upstairs and i was down stairs she came down got in my face and told me to follow her we started to go up stairs she grabbed my hand and lead me arond the hole party and took me where it was quiet to talk and i froze i didnt say a word. she left me there then 30 minutes leter were hugging and touching while she poors her heart out about her ex of three yeasrs and ask me for advice i told her to ignore i as well just got out of the same situation. shortly after this me and my friend who is like a brother to her were sitting by the dance floor she comes up and starts grinding on me i didnt know what to do i looked at him and he told me to do this and that but thats not me she was kissing my ear and neck and once again i froze how do i get past the freezing piont i really like this girl we have alot in common but im afraid to talk about it please help.
Comment by harry — March 17, 2009 @ 4:04 pm
I dont realy need help talking to girls its just this 1 girl every time she steps in the room my confidence leaves
Comment by chris — March 21, 2009 @ 7:48 pm
I know how to talk to girls but only in environments where we are introduced, i was wondering how to correctly approach girls and “get the digits”
Comment by dan — March 26, 2009 @ 5:05 pm
something about girls!!! girls don’t care if they are going to lose u or not …but guys do …don’t ever make a girl feel that u whan her so bad just act that u don’t care too…because girls think that could find better then u …and u.. don’t just think she the only one because u not looking around u…u just look at her ..so take a look u well find better then her truth me on that…good luck guys
Comment by semo — March 30, 2009 @ 12:24 pm
Thank You for the Information. Certain Girls make me nervous as well, I truly think I can ask with no problems until the time comes. That’s when I back down…
Comment by Dreamer Boy — April 2, 2009 @ 5:25 pm
I’m a student who has a lot of friends, but I do not know many girls whatsoever. I know my problem is I can not talk to girls that well because i cant keep the conversation going and i have no self confidence at all to just walk up and start talking. There’s girls i see in class who i would like to start talking to… but its like, I cant walk up and talk to them. I’ve read the above, but anything to add that will help me?
Comment by Cj — April 2, 2009 @ 11:10 pm
Good post, there are no perfect conversations. In fact, talking about what interests you and asking her what interests her will usually lead the conversation. Simple and effective.
Comment by Richard — April 4, 2009 @ 11:11 pm
Thanks a lot for that advice, seems very basic but it would work.
Comment by Cj — April 5, 2009 @ 11:33 pm
I love the bit right at the top of the page where it says: “How to attract stunningly beautiful women even if you arent rich…” Do people really believe that stunningly beautiful women are all so shallow that they will only go out with rich men?
Comment by Tom — April 17, 2009 @ 12:48 am
Hey guys, one thing to do is let them do the talking just listen. All girls are self-centered to a certain degree they all love talking about themselves. They will think you’re a good listener if you just ask questions and joke around with them. Trust me, I couldn’t talk to girls for my life. But an older friend told me this now I have girls calling me up and just hanging out all the time, and they are beautiful girls. Try it, if doesn’t work there are plenty of girls don’t get stuck on one. I wasted 4 years my life chasing 1 girl, just relax and let them do the work.
Comment by sergio — April 27, 2009 @ 10:58 am
good tips man.hope i can use them and execute smoothly
Comment by Simon — April 28, 2009 @ 9:33 pm
In my school its a girl a very beautiful girl….and i dont know how to talk to her,i cant talk to her beacuse i think she will leave or maybe kind of refuse me.I just look at her but i caught her looking too at me, so i think we both just ….look each other and none of us speaks!!!!
please what should i do guys?????
Comment by Matt — April 30, 2009 @ 4:53 am
Help! Im what you would call “socially awkward” around girls. I have a few friends that are girls and they’re trying to help me, but every time Im around a girl I don’t know, I get really awkward. Im kind of the “smart kid.” You know, where you can find a way around a math book but can’t say something to a girl to save your life. Plz help!
Comment by K — May 2, 2009 @ 3:40 pm
A girl asked me out last week but i was confused what to say so i said “I dont know”. Now i want to really get to know her and be good friends. I am too afraid to approach her because im not good with girls. Please help me Chris.
Comment by Anonymous — May 6, 2009 @ 3:52 am
Heres some advice for all of you who are… desperate or whatever. i have a crush, and i told her like a month ago about my feelings for her. now, we had been friends for 6 months and when i told her how i felt, she didnt feel the same. however, after texting and talking 2 her for 3 or so weeks, she told me she had feelings 4 me too. morals: 1) if you say you have feelings 4 them, its not the end of the world. its quite easy to get over.
Comment by ummm... — May 6, 2009 @ 8:59 pm
oh and 2) keep the conversations lite, i found saying “hows life/your love life?” works extremely well for those awkward silences just dont overdo it. hi works as a great convo starter too. and 3) be persistent… but being annoyingly persistent is a huge turn off, so dont overdo it. hope i help. good luck all. 1 more thing. dont be serious; have fun, relax. whats the point of a crush if you cant have some fun!
Comment by ummm... — May 6, 2009 @ 9:10 pm
its simple:
1) ask questions and listen
2) make her laugh
THATS ALL!! I mean everyone sees the beautiful girl who could be hanging out with the ladies man of the school but is with the biggest douchebag ever n ur like WTF!? Just make ‘em laugh and they’ll like ya.
Comment by el duderino — May 13, 2009 @ 8:46 pm
Help. im usually shy around girls and i always think the girl probably might not be interested in me, which drops my confidence way down. any advice to help me boost my confidence. thanks
Comment by fred — May 26, 2009 @ 4:33 pm
The problem is she ignores it even looks like she has no interest for me
When she’s around me she always look sad
When I do some thing for her she doesn’t say thank you or even look at me
Do you think she likes me or hates me
Comment by Phillips — June 3, 2009 @ 4:06 am
Confidence comes with success. Keep going out there and talking to women. After a while you’ll grow use to what can make girls laugh and become interested.
Comment by Bolo — June 3, 2009 @ 9:07 am
This answered my question perfectly. thanks Google and thanks Chris Calo.
Comment by pigeonata — June 4, 2009 @ 4:36 am
just be kind around girls. thats what i do and everything turns out fine. it took a while but girls now seem to like me more and like polite guys that are understanding and thats how i try to be
Comment by conrad — June 4, 2009 @ 5:57 pm
im afraid to call the girl i like and she also has a like in me, but im unusure that if i call her i will become boring because its HER, you know. I already drove around with her one evening, we barely talked, lol, i only looked at her a few times in the eyes but that was it, i feel like i shoulda did more, but then again i was after all driving so most of my attention was on that, but if i dont call her soon she might give up on me so i will call her, there’s no other way.
Comment by Dylan — June 9, 2009 @ 10:33 am
There’s a girl i really like and I’m pretty sure she likes me too she even tried talking to me once but i didn’t have a clue what to say i just cant talk to girls, help!
Comment by ilikegirlz — June 17, 2009 @ 1:19 pm
I don’t know what it is a lot of girls like me and I can tell I just cant keep a conversation going when I’m talking to them. I really think this is going to help. Thank you!
Comment by Steven — June 20, 2009 @ 6:24 pm
drink alcohol….best way to talk without a care…remember the topics then progress on them when u are sober next time u see them
Comment by TheNutMan — June 30, 2009 @ 4:40 pm
Hahaha, I’m with thenutman^^^
Alcohol is called the social lubricant for a reason, just use in moderation…
I am not the most handsome guy in the world, but I met a beautiful girl at a party a while back and we both had a LITTLE bit to drink, and it didn’t matter what guy was trying to hit on her (which was a lot), I was the only one she had any interest in. Unfortunately I’m away for the summer, but we still talk all the time, and things will heat up in the fall. If y’all are in school, ask her about that, what she’s studying, and then you relate… eventually she’ll ask you what you study and boom, there’s at least one solid hour of conversation. People that have spoken previously are right, talk to her as if she was one of the guys (obviously there are still places you don’t go, at least at first) and the conversation will flow, and it is like a fire, it starts in one place and spreads… after a while, you can talk about anything… jay leno, skydiving, myspace, Italy… wherever the two of you lead it. All you’ve got to do is prove that you’re the one guy around that she’ll want to talk to. Or as Mystery would say, “it’s all about the DHVs” or demonstrations of higher value. but yeah, don’t forget the social lubricant… it helps lol. wow I typed a lot.
Comment by Anonymous — July 1, 2009 @ 8:24 pm