How to Talk to Girls
As a guy, learning how to talk to girls can be one of the most challenging and rewarding skill he can acquire during his lifetime. Would you agree that being able to carry a proper conversation with a girl would solve a LOT of problems ?
I know many guys agree that this is one of the most neglected aspects when it comes to dating advice, and yet, it is so critical to succeed!
One of the biggest issues among men that are struggling with women is that they “Just don’t know what to talk about!”.
I feel you.
I’ve had that awkward silence too.
The moment where something SHOULD of been said, but it was not.
The moment where you both kind of look at each other and think… “ok this is not good”
When this happens, women will often think: “We just don’t connect” and it’s at that point that the date goes downhill.
Actually, that’s probably one of the biggest fear that men have and it’s the reason why a lot of guys won’t even go start a conversation!
The reason is that most people try to figure out the “ideal topic of conversation” beforehand. As if, if you were to introduce this ideal topic, you would both have a wonderful time talking about it for hours and hours and eventually the woman would fall in love with you, just because you had the right topic of conversation.
Sound silly?
That’s because it is.
Yet people STILL try to find that ideal conversation topic!
So do yourself a favor, do ME a favor, stop it and just start off with any conversation topic. Usually bad ones will do, and as the conversation progresses, you can steer the conversation to any topics you wish to discuss.
Alright, because we all like to be spoon fed information, I’ll break it down even more.
I realize that saying “Any Topic Will Do” will not help most guys because you’re probably still wondering.. “OK, but what do I talk about?” Well start by things that are relevant to you first.
It’s really hard to be relevant to other people, and people with high value tend to think of themselves anyways, so STARTING with a topic that is relevant in your life is always a great way to start a conversation. At the same time, it will sub-consciously convey values of self-worth and confidence which are both attractive.
For example, if you’re on your way to go grocery shopping, start with that!
“Hey, I was just watching the cooking channel and I was inspired to make some *insert funny meal*, so now I’m going to get the secret ingredient at the grocery store”.
Now it’s likely that she doesn’t really care about you going grocery shopping, but if the story, your thought process, is interesting enough, then it will be entertaining to talk about. When in doubt, talk about your thought process about an activity and it will ALWAYS provide natural conversation.
People are bored, stories about your life can be as entertaining as watching that last episode of Lost, House or even
Conversations are like fires, once they are ignited with the right kindling, there’s no stopping them. Trust me when I tell you, you’ll KNOW when to change topic, it will come naturally. Until then, just continue talking about what interests you the most, because if it’s interesting to YOU, you’ll talk about it in an enthusiastic and entertaining manner.
The next thing you wonder how to talk to girls, just keep in mind that conversations are like fire, they need to be slowly started with little light pieces before you can move on to the heavy stuff!
Related articles include: What to Talk About With Girls (Probably the best article on this site!) and for day time specifics, Talking to girls during the day
Sphere: Related Content
Awesome Tips,it really boosted a confidence in myself coz i’ve been suffering from same problem for a gr8 time.thanks Chris,really thanks…
Comment by Anupam — July 27, 2008 @ 11:52 am
that didn’t work for me srry
Comment by KewlDood — September 4, 2008 @ 10:20 pm
help i need help talking to a girl any girl or anyone i go talk to someone then cant figure out what to say or talk about and it drives me crazy.i mean i like hang out with friends n such i go talk about something then i stop try so hard talk to a girl it actually gives me headaches please help me thanks
Comment by Mike lutton — October 15, 2008 @ 3:33 pm
I have some suggestions for the people that need a tad bit of help. Girls don’t really wanted to be treated very differently,if anything they will find that sexist,treat them as you would a good friend,be yourself, hiding the truth won’t help;it would come out eventually. Now,when I say be yourself,of course there are some rules on this subject…. Don’t go all out saying perverted jokes or make fun of them, unless you know 100% that they won’t mind it. Act a tad bit more…gentleman like,but not too much because it is very noticeable.. Now I don’t have much time so that’s all I can post. If it didn’t help you then I’m sorry, this method of actually treating them like humans the same species actually works quite well. Best of luck to you all!
Comment by Mike — October 29, 2008 @ 12:08 am
You probally won’t ever see the woman/girl again if she does not give you her information, so just tell yourself that and go for it. I mean, what do you have to lose or risk if you just go up to someone you’ll never see again if they reject you? And atleast you’ll learn what not to do for the next time. Count to 5 while building confidence in yourself and once you hit 5, GO! Don’t hold back. Take a deep breathe in, then breathe out as you get to her, and start your conversation.
“I was just going out for a job and then I seen you. I have some work to get done but I would like to see you again, is that alright?” and if she says “Uh, sure.” or any variation of “Yes” then just say “Do you have an Email Address by chance?” and if she says yes, take it, look at it for just a moment and then look at her and smile[if you want] and say “Well, I will be on my way then. Talk to you later.” and keep walking. If she doesn’t have an email, ask her if she wants yours. If nothing works and she just rejects you, just say “Well it was nice meeting you. Have a nice day.” and walk away. GOODLUCK!
Comment by RevRogue — October 30, 2008 @ 7:23 am
Thanks i’ll try it as soon as possible
Comment by Mike — November 29, 2008 @ 11:19 am
Guys, if it’s hard for you to talk to girls in person then start off in a more easier way. Join a social network that provides live chat that the girl you want to talk to uses(I’d recommend facebook or msn) whenever she’s on try and talk to her. If she’s rejecting you talking to her then ditch talking to her. It isn’t worth it talking to an asshole. If she’s becoming interested on the chat. Then keep going. Eventually you and her will be comfortable to meet at school or after school to hang out. Problem solved
Comment by Finn — January 28, 2009 @ 3:10 am
hey i need help, my confidence with girls is pretty bad, i cant even keep a conversation going for more than a few minutes, i really need help on boosting my self confidence, ever time i speak to a good looking girl, i either freeze up or say the wrong things which gives them a bad impression, i would appreciate some advice, thanks
Comment by Matt — February 14, 2009 @ 2:33 am
I support the idea of been youself only, treat girls just like a frineds, tell the jokes, discuss issues, remember moments and things will go right. They will laugh and enjoy your company snd henceforth and slowly you can drive them to the track that you want. Don’t start directly with your target(i want to be your friend) because that might turn them off you
Comment by Mohammed El H — February 15, 2009 @ 12:54 am
thanks, i took your advise and went for it, were talking abit now, i walk to school the same way as her so that helps with the talking, thanks again
Comment by Matt — February 18, 2009 @ 12:18 am
Talk just about what you her ask questions and strange ones and remember to listen and build off of that. Don’t plan improvise in chess you never plan how the game will end when you start the game if plan how it will end in the start you will always lose. Talking is not planned it is exspressing your thoughts and opinions and your thoughts of her ideas and opinions. you can never plan for everything.
Comment by Andrew — February 25, 2009 @ 5:31 pm
ok thanks i’ll remember that, anyway this guy was coming onto a girl i like at school and making her feel uncomfortable, and when she tried to leave him and his mates wouldnt let her, so i had a great idea, i went over to them and confronted the douch, haha he dared me to fight him so i punched him strate in the face, which of course made his mates lunge for me, but by that time all my mates and other guys i know had jumped in and we started being the crap out of them, and now she thinks im a great guy, haha sometimes violence is the answer X D
Comment by Matt — February 27, 2009 @ 9:01 pm
im a girl who happened to stumble upon this website haha and i agree with all the advice given.
just be calm and be yourself because we know when you’re putting on an act and its just a turn off really.. it always helps to break the ice with a joke and even light flirting once you get to know her, but the main thing to remember is BE FRIENDLY and that should do the trick
Comment by M — March 2, 2009 @ 4:22 pm
Well I’m in Highschool and I’d like to talk to this girl in my math class so what do I say?
Or if I see a pretty girl whats the first thing I should say, does complementing her help?
Comment by Joseph E. — March 7, 2009 @ 5:40 pm
i have no game what so ever. for example i was at a friends party the other night and this girl i had recently met a few weeks ago we have hung out at partys and at a mutal friends house at least once a week. we were at the party the other night and i had bought her a bottle of wine which is what she typically drinks she was as happy as could be she was upstairs and i was down stairs she came down got in my face and told me to follow her we started to go up stairs she grabbed my hand and lead me arond the hole party and took me where it was quiet to talk and i froze i didnt say a word. she left me there then 30 minutes leter were hugging and touching while she poors her heart out about her ex of three yeasrs and ask me for advice i told her to ignore i as well just got out of the same situation. shortly after this me and my friend who is like a brother to her were sitting by the dance floor she comes up and starts grinding on me i didnt know what to do i looked at him and he told me to do this and that but thats not me she was kissing my ear and neck and once again i froze how do i get past the freezing piont i really like this girl we have alot in common but im afraid to talk about it please help.
Comment by harry — March 17, 2009 @ 4:04 pm
I dont realy need help talking to girls its just this 1 girl every time she steps in the room my confidence leaves
Comment by chris — March 21, 2009 @ 7:48 pm
I know how to talk to girls but only in environments where we are introduced, i was wondering how to correctly approach girls and “get the digits”
Comment by dan — March 26, 2009 @ 5:05 pm
something about girls!!! girls don’t care if they are going to lose u or not …but guys do …don’t ever make a girl feel that u whan her so bad just act that u don’t care too…because girls think that could find better then u …and u.. don’t just think she the only one because u not looking around u…u just look at her ..so take a look u well find better then her truth me on that…good luck guys
Comment by semo — March 30, 2009 @ 12:24 pm
Thank You for the Information. Certain Girls make me nervous as well, I truly think I can ask with no problems until the time comes. That’s when I back down…
Comment by Dreamer Boy — April 2, 2009 @ 5:25 pm
I’m a student who has a lot of friends, but I do not know many girls whatsoever. I know my problem is I can not talk to girls that well because i cant keep the conversation going and i have no self confidence at all to just walk up and start talking. There’s girls i see in class who i would like to start talking to… but its like, I cant walk up and talk to them. I’ve read the above, but anything to add that will help me?
Comment by Cj — April 2, 2009 @ 11:10 pm
Good post, there are no perfect conversations. In fact, talking about what interests you and asking her what interests her will usually lead the conversation. Simple and effective.
Comment by Richard — April 4, 2009 @ 11:11 pm
Thanks a lot for that advice, seems very basic but it would work.
Comment by Cj — April 5, 2009 @ 11:33 pm
I love the bit right at the top of the page where it says: “How to attract stunningly beautiful women even if you arent rich…” Do people really believe that stunningly beautiful women are all so shallow that they will only go out with rich men?
Comment by Tom — April 17, 2009 @ 12:48 am
Hey guys, one thing to do is let them do the talking just listen. All girls are self-centered to a certain degree they all love talking about themselves. They will think you’re a good listener if you just ask questions and joke around with them. Trust me, I couldn’t talk to girls for my life. But an older friend told me this now I have girls calling me up and just hanging out all the time, and they are beautiful girls. Try it, if doesn’t work there are plenty of girls don’t get stuck on one. I wasted 4 years my life chasing 1 girl, just relax and let them do the work.
Comment by sergio — April 27, 2009 @ 10:58 am
good tips man.hope i can use them and execute smoothly
Comment by Simon — April 28, 2009 @ 9:33 pm
In my school its a girl a very beautiful girl….and i dont know how to talk to her,i cant talk to her beacuse i think she will leave or maybe kind of refuse me.I just look at her but i caught her looking too at me, so i think we both just ….look each other and none of us speaks!!!!
please what should i do guys?????
Comment by Matt — April 30, 2009 @ 4:53 am
Help! Im what you would call “socially awkward” around girls. I have a few friends that are girls and they’re trying to help me, but every time Im around a girl I don’t know, I get really awkward. Im kind of the “smart kid.” You know, where you can find a way around a math book but can’t say something to a girl to save your life. Plz help!
Comment by K — May 2, 2009 @ 3:40 pm
A girl asked me out last week but i was confused what to say so i said “I dont know”. Now i want to really get to know her and be good friends. I am too afraid to approach her because im not good with girls. Please help me Chris.
Comment by Anonymous — May 6, 2009 @ 3:52 am
Heres some advice for all of you who are… desperate or whatever. i have a crush, and i told her like a month ago about my feelings for her. now, we had been friends for 6 months and when i told her how i felt, she didnt feel the same. however, after texting and talking 2 her for 3 or so weeks, she told me she had feelings 4 me too. morals: 1) if you say you have feelings 4 them, its not the end of the world. its quite easy to get over.
Comment by ummm... — May 6, 2009 @ 8:59 pm
oh and 2) keep the conversations lite, i found saying “hows life/your love life?” works extremely well for those awkward silences just dont overdo it. hi works as a great convo starter too. and 3) be persistent… but being annoyingly persistent is a huge turn off, so dont overdo it. hope i help. good luck all. 1 more thing. dont be serious; have fun, relax. whats the point of a crush if you cant have some fun!
Comment by ummm... — May 6, 2009 @ 9:10 pm
its simple:
1) ask questions and listen
2) make her laugh
THATS ALL!! I mean everyone sees the beautiful girl who could be hanging out with the ladies man of the school but is with the biggest douchebag ever n ur like WTF!? Just make ‘em laugh and they’ll like ya.
Comment by el duderino — May 13, 2009 @ 8:46 pm
Help. im usually shy around girls and i always think the girl probably might not be interested in me, which drops my confidence way down. any advice to help me boost my confidence. thanks
Comment by fred — May 26, 2009 @ 4:33 pm
The problem is she ignores it even looks like she has no interest for me
When she’s around me she always look sad
When I do some thing for her she doesn’t say thank you or even look at me
Do you think she likes me or hates me
Comment by Phillips — June 3, 2009 @ 4:06 am
Confidence comes with success. Keep going out there and talking to women. After a while you’ll grow use to what can make girls laugh and become interested.
Comment by Bolo — June 3, 2009 @ 9:07 am
This answered my question perfectly. thanks Google and thanks Chris Calo.
Comment by pigeonata — June 4, 2009 @ 4:36 am
just be kind around girls. thats what i do and everything turns out fine. it took a while but girls now seem to like me more and like polite guys that are understanding and thats how i try to be
Comment by conrad — June 4, 2009 @ 5:57 pm
im afraid to call the girl i like and she also has a like in me, but im unusure that if i call her i will become boring because its HER, you know. I already drove around with her one evening, we barely talked, lol, i only looked at her a few times in the eyes but that was it, i feel like i shoulda did more, but then again i was after all driving so most of my attention was on that, but if i dont call her soon she might give up on me so i will call her, there’s no other way.
Comment by Dylan — June 9, 2009 @ 10:33 am
There’s a girl i really like and I’m pretty sure she likes me too she even tried talking to me once but i didn’t have a clue what to say i just cant talk to girls, help!
Comment by ilikegirlz — June 17, 2009 @ 1:19 pm
I don’t know what it is a lot of girls like me and I can tell I just cant keep a conversation going when I’m talking to them. I really think this is going to help. Thank you!
Comment by Steven — June 20, 2009 @ 6:24 pm
drink alcohol….best way to talk without a care…remember the topics then progress on them when u are sober next time u see them
Comment by TheNutMan — June 30, 2009 @ 4:40 pm
Hahaha, I’m with thenutman^^^
Alcohol is called the social lubricant for a reason, just use in moderation…
I am not the most handsome guy in the world, but I met a beautiful girl at a party a while back and we both had a LITTLE bit to drink, and it didn’t matter what guy was trying to hit on her (which was a lot), I was the only one she had any interest in. Unfortunately I’m away for the summer, but we still talk all the time, and things will heat up in the fall. If y’all are in school, ask her about that, what she’s studying, and then you relate… eventually she’ll ask you what you study and boom, there’s at least one solid hour of conversation. People that have spoken previously are right, talk to her as if she was one of the guys (obviously there are still places you don’t go, at least at first) and the conversation will flow, and it is like a fire, it starts in one place and spreads… after a while, you can talk about anything… jay leno, skydiving, myspace, Italy… wherever the two of you lead it. All you’ve got to do is prove that you’re the one guy around that she’ll want to talk to. Or as Mystery would say, “it’s all about the DHVs” or demonstrations of higher value. but yeah, don’t forget the social lubricant… it helps lol. wow I typed a lot.
Comment by Anonymous — July 1, 2009 @ 8:24 pm
Don’t be shy talking to a girl i lost a girl which i knew and we both liked each other and i was so shy to ask her out because i was scared of a no she ended up going out with another man. So please don’t be shy or you’ll be like me!
Comment by t-man — July 4, 2009 @ 7:06 pm
i agree somewhat but what is even more important is great body language and second to that how you use your voice.
Comment by Mark — July 9, 2009 @ 9:24 am
I like this girl but she happens to be my best friend’s little sister. He gets a little protective but he thinks she has a crush on me so he lightened up a little. Plus she made a promise to herself that she won’t have a crush on someone she’s known for more than three years, I guess it’s because usually if you’ve known someone that long they’re probably a good friend. But we haven’t really talked in six years because they moved but I really like her and I dont want to ruin our friendship by telling her
Comment by Devon — July 12, 2009 @ 11:57 pm
Confidence is key learnt that the hard way,
what might i add is wrong with House ????
Comment by Just some guy — July 13, 2009 @ 9:55 am
what???
Comment by Devon — July 22, 2009 @ 10:52 am
Some good points, but i find asking girls about their lives first works well, and keep asking about their friends, family, hobbies and interest’s, work or studies. people love talking about themselves so let them and listen. The information that you can gain from them boasting about themselves is critical to playing the dating game and know as much as you can about the girl first is always an advantage. But if you don’t know the girl or her friends (Random Girl) Compliment her on what she is wearing, or her hair etc girls love compliments as we all do. Most importantly, make eye contact, Smile and laugh and when you get her phone number, GET OUT OF THERE A.S.A.P you have achieved your goal so don’t blow it. If you’re scared of rejection try getting girls you don’t know. Yse them as practice if it doesn’t work, they don’t know you so it won’t be awkward if you see them again like girls you do know. Learn from mistakes and don’t be scared to try. Remember Eye,contact, Smile, And ask questions like, Work. What do you do…etc What does that involve and do you enjoy it. What are your plans for the weekend and say sounds like fun. Who know she might ask you out.
Comment by Rish — July 30, 2009 @ 5:21 am
I don’t have a problem as far as looks go, but I suck when it comes to talking to girls. A couple days ago i was talking to this girl and she talked alot and i asked questions, but when she finished talking i froze up. I don’t know what to say. And i have really shy personality. What do i do?
Comment by samos08 — August 1, 2009 @ 3:26 pm
You must be ready to change your behavior, your way of thinking and, for the coach not to be successful. I ask difficult questions and give homework and it is only if you really are investing in yourself as love can be one result. If you are open, then it can be miracles:)
Comment by danial — August 3, 2009 @ 12:29 pm
i daily look few of my class girls,but i am unable to get connected with them .i generally unable to decide what to start with and they walk away.
so please give me a solution.
thanks
Comment by kishore — August 9, 2009 @ 11:25 am
Thanks for the tips. I used to be shy and had no self confidence. I actually told the girl that i’m not good at this kinda thing and she responded well. I did something that I actually didn’t see myself doing.
Comment by Jordan — August 10, 2009 @ 6:23 pm
I tried to talk to girl. I said “Hey, how you doin?” She said “good…i guess”. I said “Im going to get some fruit from the shop to make a fruit pie”. She said “mmmmmmm…sounds yummy” I said “ok”.
Comment by po — August 12, 2009 @ 8:48 am
i usually have that awkward moment of silence till i usually get asked to take a “stroll” with her and the first time that happened i ended up french kissing with 3 hot bronze girls, i swear it on my life. Remember, “does before bros” unless the situation demands it
Comment by lok — September 6, 2009 @ 8:40 pm
Say that you already met a girl for the first time. And you feel that she had made a pass towards you and you were totally clueless on what to do. So you don’t make a move, and don’t say a thing.
My question is: The next time you see her, how do you go about talking to her without the awkwardness of the first time?
Comment by neal — September 8, 2009 @ 1:19 am
Hello Neal, if the girl’s made a pass at you then you have the power! Don’t worry about feeling awkward because if anything, she’s more worried than you about it. Instead, go talk to her, find out if she’s someone you’d like to hang out with and just invite her to hang out with you.
If you are comfortable, then she will be as well !
Good luck
Comment by Chris Calo — September 8, 2009 @ 1:51 pm
So, I am not very good at talking to girls, but I am getting better at it, I do the following…
Whenever you see a girl you like just go, don’t think don’t wait just start walking towards her and go and start a topic, I know this is one of the most hardest things to do but this is the only way that will work.
You will get better at talking, at first I use to be like,”nice weather” and then just walk away. Now I actually start with anything that I may notice, for example a couple of days ago I saw this girl with some of her friends, she was drinking pepsi, I just went to the group and asked if the pepsi she was drinking OK and I can buy one from the nearby store and not die of poisoning or whatever they laughed and said no and that was that.
She is sleeping behind me right now. I totally love her.
Comment by nick — September 8, 2009 @ 10:26 pm
Of course we talked about other things, but my point is you won’t learn what to say to a girl on a website, you can learn the words, but ultimately, just go out and practice and don’t give up, if rejected.
Comment by nick — September 8, 2009 @ 10:29 pm
i don’t know impress my best girl friend. Please help me!
Comment by praveen — September 10, 2009 @ 7:29 am
Thanks really needed this, you’re a good lad
Comment by CheeZloader — September 10, 2009 @ 12:58 pm
You are so right, I have the worst conversations ever because I’m usually really quiet. I’m super frightened to scare my date away so i avoid talking. But thanks for the tip! helps A lot!
Comment by The Emo — September 15, 2009 @ 7:29 pm
hey, i kind of like this one girl and I”m not afraid to talk to her but she’s always around other people which makes it kinda awkward so when and how should I approach her
Comment by joe — September 18, 2009 @ 7:15 pm
hi, at school i have tried to talk to about every girl i like but the fact remains that i am a total loser. not one girl wants to even talk to me. they say my personality is off so i try to change it but nothing works. even when i try to talk to them i just start to lose confidence what can i do?
Comment by Anthony S — September 23, 2009 @ 8:29 pm
I thought i always knew that any topic to get started would do, then proceed on deeper into the conversation. Well,now its confirmed! Guys, just don’t think loads, just do more! At least give it a try and see how it goes on, rather than asking oneself questions, so as not to regret later and say: ‘Damn it she had a crush on me and now she’s with that guy! All because i didn’t gather enough courage to ask her out!’.
Comment by Dan Shunpike — October 3, 2009 @ 1:22 am
I’ve never had trouble talking to girls, I grew up with them. But one girl….resisted my charm. I can make her laugh and she flirts with me but some times i forget what to say or when i do have the balls to someone gets in the way. What do i do???
Comment by j.m.p — October 18, 2009 @ 9:35 am
ok so I’m very good looking (not to brag or anything) but many girls look at me in the eyes and i look back. This happens alot and last usually 2-3 sec. I know that’s a good thing but when i talk i can usually keep it going but then towards the end ill ask/say something stupid or freeez up. I also need to know how to use my voice better. Any tips?
Comment by nick — November 3, 2009 @ 5:34 am
the only time im awkward around girls, is when im with my other guy friends. i usually get shut out becuase i cant really think of anything clever to say or anything funny, so i kind end up getting shut out and feeling like shit. any solutions?
Comment by blehh — November 5, 2009 @ 10:59 pm
I hate it when I’m talking to a girl and really getting in with the topic but then later on finding out on her facebook page that she’s in a relationship.. happens to me occasionally… It’s funny how girls coming across looking as if they are single when their not
Comment by Rolfindo — November 16, 2009 @ 5:21 am
thanks a lot this helped me get more close with my gf! Thanks a lot!
Comment by Evgenie — November 24, 2009 @ 12:24 pm
Read everything and my confidence is boosted. Lets see if it helps or not. Thanks everyone!!
Comment by Anonymous — November 29, 2009 @ 12:35 pm
Yea I have no problem talking to girls if they start the convo or we’re introduced, but like today I was at the mall, tons of hot chicks, even had 3 of them following me, and I know that’s a perfect sign for me to go talk but I freeze and don’t know what to do. Help!
Comment by Nick — December 4, 2009 @ 5:13 pm
i got no game at all with this girl… i dunno what to say at all. we met on the web right, I’ve known her for a while but now we live completely apart and i got no cash.
what do i do ? can i get her interested in me without facing me in person yet? i got enough money to visit her later, but i gotta get her interested first.
Comment by xixi — December 9, 2009 @ 1:59 am
@nick: Practice, practice, practice. It’s OK if you say something that’s not right. There are no “perfect conversations”, so have fun with them. While we’re on the subject, I have a kick ass newsletter about never running out of things to say.
I strongly recommend you check it out (just put your email under the article for the coaching)
@blehh: That’s because you’re trying to compete with them and also because you put on a different personality when you’re around girls. Basically, you don’t want your guy friends to see you flirting with women. The answer?
Act normal when you’re with your friends, and try to be alone with the girl so you can flirt with her.. in a subtle manner. If your friends are more dominant than you, then this will happen every time until you develop yourself.
@Rolfindo: If a girl doesn’t tell you she’s in a relationship, then it’s possible that she’s just looking for a way out… and that could be you! It’s usually a good sign.
@Nick: It’s practice man, the first time is always the hardest and you just need to get used to starting conversations. There’s no easy way to do it… but I do explain some very clever ways in my email coaching.
@xixi: If you have no game, the girl doesn’t like you and you’re far apart then I hate to say it, but you need to start improving with women by … practicing with women.
That means face-to-face communication. Once you have an interesting life going, you can keep in contact with her and build attraction. I’d recommend you read Double Your Dating to learn how to build attraction and you should also register for my email coaching program.
If you do both, you’ll have a MUCH higher chance of succeeding.
Comment by Chris Calo — December 9, 2009 @ 7:54 pm
thnx for the advice.
Comment by xixi — December 10, 2009 @ 12:26 am
Hey, I’ve got this problem to I just get very lost when talking to girls, well not to girls but to the girl I like a lot. One huge problem is that she is so untouchable, what I mean she is always around friends and I feel uncomfortable when that happens and just pass her by. She was interested in me before but I was so busy then and it seems like she has lost her interest. Why I’m scared of talking to is that once I talked to this girl and she responded to me in a very mean way which got me very upset. Any Suggestions ?
Comment by Alex — December 12, 2009 @ 10:21 pm
I’m meeting a girl in the weekend but her two friends are coming with her and i have no wing man , I’m going to be the only male there and I’m extremely shy around this girl and i don’t know how to approach the situation.
Comment by Ryon — December 29, 2009 @ 2:35 am
I love a girl so I don’t know how to attract her attention to myself? I don’t know how to speak with her? It means I have speaking problem with her?
Comment by saywankhalid — January 2, 2010 @ 2:40 am
Ah. What if a girl comes up to you sloppy drunk. Flirts with you and physically try to man handle you. (And you have no intention of getting with this person). What is the best way to try avoid these situations without hurting the persons feelings.
Comment by Zack — January 3, 2010 @ 12:08 pm
Alright so today I have done something that I have never done before (you will find out later on in the message). I have always had a problem going up to girls and talking to them, I don’t know why but after reading this and everyone elses problems, my confidence was boosted extremely high. And I’m going to attempt to get the guts to go up to a girl I saw today, a dream girl and see how things go. But anyway back to what happened today, I was at a store that I would normally never go in (a western store), come to find out, there are amazingly beautiful girls there. One caught my eye, and I must have caught hers, because everytime I looked down from the top floor she was looking up at me. I just couldn’t get the guts to go talk to her. My cousin offered to be me $20 to go talk to her, so I was like you’re on. As I’m focusing on what I’m going to say while I’m heading down the stairs, my foot slips and I fall down the stairs. My glasses kept going on below me, and when i bent to pick them up, my keys fell out of my pocket, and then when i went to pick them up, my phone fell out of my pocket. All of this happened in the middle of the store, talk about embarassing! All the confidence I had built up to go talk to her was completely erased. I kind of laughed it off and did a fast walk out of the store. Hopefully she didn’t see, or I will feel like a real retard heading back there tomorrow. And I hope shes working! I hope this gives me confidence moving forward. I’m ganna take it as the worst thing she can say is no, and every opportunity missed will haunt you later on in life.
Comment by Dustin — January 10, 2010 @ 9:45 pm
like right now. I’m kicking myself for not just doing it in the first place!
Comment by Dustin — January 10, 2010 @ 10:08 pm
Being able to talk to women is sometimes harder for certain individuals than others. Some people grow with confidence and become better over time. I believe you should just be yourself, and try to talk at a steady pace while pronouncing your words clearing. Making eye contact also helps. Being able to communicate well can also mean being able to listen very well. Take an interest in her.Women are not so complicated. Just try and relax around them. They are just as human as you are.
Comment by Chad Metzer — January 13, 2010 @ 8:17 am
Hey all. I saw a lots tips above. It’s nice to see man helping man on this issue.
However, i met this cute girl at a bar last nite. She looked at me and smiled and i returned it wit a smile too. Then i gather some guts and approached her with my glass of beer. Cheers! with her and introduced my self and she replied friendly too. After common questions like, [where are u from?], [how often are u here?], [never seen you here before ...] and [you look beautiful], i ran out of topics. Both of us were silent and i felt like a complete idiot sitting there And finally i just excused myself and walk back to my place. Even after that we still exchanged looks but don’t know what to talk about.
Can someone help me on this. I’m damn weak in beginning a conversation but have no problem to approach any ladies.
Thanks
Comment by Tishen01 — January 13, 2010 @ 7:25 pm
ive tried this, it does work, but i always get friend zoned. >:(
Comment by john316 — January 19, 2010 @ 4:17 pm
There’s this girl i have a huge, and i mean really huge, crush on and now, thanks 2 u Chris, we’re together. Thanx so much Chris!!!
Comment by I♥MaddyE. — January 24, 2010 @ 9:28 pm
thanks for the advice haha. You’re awesome dude you shoot me on the head… bang! as all men wants they want that the girl will be amazed with him that’s why we find the best topic to open so that they can easily fall to us.. because we are great..!! but that’s not so easy to do… haha thx dude
Comment by jop2x — February 7, 2010 @ 7:30 am