The number one rule on how to start a conversation with a girl you just met is easy: keep it simple, keep it fun. When you talk to a woman for the first time, remember that she doesn’t know you and anything too intense will push her away. Instead, use these conversation starters to get her more interested.
Situational Conversation Starter
Make a comment about something around both of you at the time.
If you’re at the library, mention something about the librarian at the door or even about the funny security guard at the entrance. An environmental opener can be used anywhere, but it does take a bit of quick thinking depending on where you are.
Direct Conversation Starter
Just say “hi”
Sometimes just saying hi is enough to get a decent conversation started. This works especially well in boring situations such as waiting in line. If there’s nothing special happening and you are both bored, then saying hi will just come off as being social. We have an entire section on direct approaches that I recommend you check out.
Starting a conversation with an opinion
Some men feel more comfortable jumping right into a topic with an opinion on a certain situation.
The advantages of this is that it automatically leads to a full fledged dialog about whichever topic you introduced. The disadvantage however, is that if you randomly ask for someone’s opinion, they might think you’re polling a survey or something. They might be on the defensive right away since people automatically avoid salesmen on a daily basis. The one context where an opinion opener will be acceptable is in a social environment in which everyone is already talking, ie: party or a bar.
Beginning a chat with a comment about her
Now this is risky but can lead to a quick and successful conversation if done right.
By noticing something unique about her, she will be likely to want to engage in a conversation to talk about her favorite subject, herself. For example, if a girl is wearing a huge hat, she’s doing it for a reason: she wants to be noticed and for people to talk to her. So just pick up on these subtle (and sometimes obvious) cues.
How to start a conversation with a girl can be quite easy once you’ve mastered these few techniques. Once it’s started, you will need to have something to say to continue chatting with her! One of the best resources to read so you never run out of things to say is the book Double Your Dating by David Deangelo.
The words printed on the pages of his book have a way of sticking in your brain and will make you a better conversationalist than you ever thought possible.
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{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
5. make her comfortable with your conversation, some times make jokes, to make girl better her mood..
just add my opinion
I have never courted a girl in the past but had girlfriends. Most of the my GF’s started the conversation with me.
hi thanks for you advise i think now i know to approach woman or at my first time gud bless you for wonderful advise wisdom
i really like this girl, but every time a start a conversation and we talk a bit, she stops answering me.. is it because she don’t like me, or because she just don’t have time..
what could I else speak with her about ?
she wont have the time as it seems your texting her, you need to meet her face-to-face and then start the conversation, make sure you compliment her and make her feel wanted
your website helps a lot most especially to my friend whom find such difficulty on girl matters
I’m an artist so i take my sketchpad open up to a half done drawing and work on it. It works for me because i am kinda shy and it makes an instant topic without anyone me having to start the conversation. You can do this with most cool talents. Works best with musicians though.
theres this girl that works at the grocery store, every time i try to talk to her i cant think of anything to say.. any advise on how to break the ice???
Johnny you need to keep a smile in your face when you talk to any girl and see how they all say yes!!
Well, surprisingly, I recognized that I actually already do some of these, which I think helps me reassure myself that I’m in the right mind frame…
So I’ve had a lil practice meeting and talking to women, but to be honest, I have a hard time with keeping their interest with conversation, or not knowing what to say. I frequently find myself asking, “What are you thinking?” or something along those lines… Any advice to help me break this habit would be nice, thanks
Jesse
I just went down to Florida for break and I’m with my buddy who hasn’t done alot of talking with anyone so I’m pretty much alone all the time on the beach and I see girls looking at me and walking by two or thre times and I’ve been with alot of girls but I don’t know what to do here I’m a big muscular guy but I have a little belly and that gets to me what should I do or say?
I’m going to be meeting this girl tomorrow for the first time and I don’t want to lose the communication between use when we are talking, I want it to go smooth and have things to talk about, getting started is going to be hard and keeping it going is an other. HELP
wow im so happy that i read all comment and those are very nice thanks for sharing this website i much got advance from this website and im also fallin with a girl and when she sees me she laugh to sees me and i also laugh to see her and when i dont laugh she does not laugh is she love with me or not but she does not know that so plz help me i need some tips
There is this in my neighborhood,i actually like the girl and i know she likes me too(i mean with the she is always looking at me and the kinda attention she gives me).the problem is anytime i have the opportunity to talk to her,the first few minutes usually goes well but after that,we,i run out of what to say.i mean if i can’t talk to her for long,how am i supposed to ask her out?
yo johnny this means she only wants you as a friend and not a boy friend right now
I like this girl but i don’t know if she likes me and is playing hard to get or she realy doesn’t like me
when i see a girl and after awhile we have made eye contact and checked each other out and what not, so pretty much i can go up to her and not be shot down and how she wants to talk to me or exchange our numbers or something, its just when all that it said and done my one problem is what to say to that girl. so any help here will be much appreciated.
I’ve red your articles several times but i still find it difficult to talk to girls. but i would recommend you to send some more advanced articles on girls issues.
i am 21 years old guy who never had a girlfriend, but i would like to have one.
i know your advice could be beneficial.
Hi
I just read ur articles and tips on how to start talking with a girl for the first time , they are amazing and i have the guts doing it …all i needed was suggestions and advices from an expert like ya..
Thanks for polishing me.
a carol u got sum helpful stuff here man
Hey i came up to this girl i like and said hey ur in my history class.She says yeah i asked her what grade shes in a then i asked her what lunch she has 1 or 2 meanwhile her friend came up and i said hi to her then i asked the girl her name. Then i left and said nice meeting u . Week later i came up to her and talked to her again i asked her how was her weekend. mean while her friends come up and started talking to her i was just out of the group it was akward so i left and said c ya and she said bye. next day i came up to her she was with her friends i said how r u she looked down and said good in a not intrestead look i got dissed to the girl of my dreams. what should i doo?
Wow, this is seriously helpful. I’m going to take some time off and think about these things… thanks