How to pick up women
If you’re here, then I’m going to assume that you’re determined to learn how to pick up women. I’ll tell you right away, the fastest way to learn is to hang out with guys that are already successful at attracting women on a consistent basis.
Assuming you don’t have any of these friends around you, let’s move on to the second fastest method to learn, practice.
There are a few concepts that you should master in order to successfully engage and “pick up” a woman. First, I don’t really like that the term pickup, because it automatically puts the guy in a situation where he’s chasing the woman. Now this might often be true, but ideally, you don’t want to come off as a guy who’s hunting for women.
The right attitude to adopt when you’re going to meet women is to think of it as a mutual selection process. You’re going to go talk to her to simply find out if you would like to know more of her. Likewise, she’s going to assess if she wants to know more of you or not. Kind of like when you go shopping for a car, you need to investigate, ask questions before committing to a certain choice.
That way, when you do make a choice (ask her number, kiss her, etc), it will seem natural and logical. The problem with most guys is that they see an attractive woman, decide RIGHT in an instant that they want to sleep with her, and then go to talk to her caring about nothing else but getting her into bed.
From the woman’s perspective… a random guy approaches you and you KNOW he’ll say anything to please you and will likely DO anything you ask him as well. Immediately, for no reason, she has complete power of a man who’s throwing himself at her.
Don’t throw yourself at her.
Instead, ask her interesting questions that she won’t hear every day, tease her whenever she answers wrong ( according to your standards ) and try to see if she fits your mold of the ideal woman. She might not even know it, but she’ll be doing the same to you!
So let’s break this down into simple steps.
1) Figure out what you want in a woman (preparation)
2)Approach a woman, say something interesting / captivating / entertaining.
3) Referring to Step 1, speak about topics that will allow you to know more about her while telling herself about you.
For example, if in Step 1, you realized that you wanted an adventurous girl in your life, then in Step 3, you could mention a story where you did something adventurous yourself… from that, see how she reacts. That’s normal conversation! When you supplement light conversation with smiles, teasing and light touching (kino), it becomes flirting.
To recap, the absolute best way to learn about how to pick up women is to hang out with guys that are good at it already. If you don’t have this luxury, then the next best thing will be to practice. The best book I can recommend on picking up women would be one written by David D. He’s one of the guru’s on the subject and his book is currently the #1 book on the seduction charts.
Sphere: Related Content
plz i like what are u doing men i want u to sent full page of this how to pick up a woman to my box i will appreciates plz thanx
Comment by bede eagle — June 14, 2008 @ 2:57 am
Dude I seriously agree with you.
U the Man!!!!!!
Comment by NinJon — July 17, 2008 @ 11:05 am
Could you give some examples of interesting things to say to a woman while your talking to her when you first meet?
Thanks
Comment by Fernando — August 13, 2008 @ 3:08 am
i’m 18 and my next door neighbor is really hot and shes very flirts with me. she is 20 and i think she likes me the way i like her, but she has a boyfriend and a kid what shall i do
anyone help please.
Comment by jordan — October 28, 2008 @ 8:49 am
You shouldn’t do anything. A girl who’s 20 and has a kid and is flirting with you isn’t loyal to anything including herself. Insta–family—just add water? No thanks. Trust me, enjoy the flirting–but don’t let it go further. Girl like that ain’t nothin’ but trouble.
Comment by Mo — October 31, 2008 @ 9:48 am
what u talkin bout mo? he should at least get something out of the situation. just deny the hell out of it after
Comment by jarrad — December 17, 2008 @ 7:56 am
Hey guys, I just met this girl in the church today. Actually we went with school to the church, this girl is 18 I think I’m 17. I know her, I mean she’s very “popular” in school for her looks, she’s very sexy etc etc… Lets get to the point now. I was standing alone by the wall listening to the priest, suddenly this chick appears first with 2 of her friends. She asks “Hey, can I stand here? or sit I can’t remember” I said “of course” then she started to talk with me, we talked about a lot of things, for example what we do for living and stuff… It was a very nice moment I loved it, I had a feeling she was interested in me, because she constantly asked questions and stuff, and every time I “isolated” her she got more interested. But when we were about to leave, I was so stupid I didn’t even think of it, I could ask for her phone number, it was a 110% chance that I would get it, but I didn’t ask for it
( I know her name I can easily add her on Facebook, I don’t know maybe that seem strange, I really should have asked for it in the first place, I don’t know what to do? I feel so stupid, shall I wait 2 weeks til I get to meet her again or shall I send messages on Facebook I don’t know, please give me some tips would appreciate that
Peace
MMA Fighter
Comment by MMA Fighter — December 19, 2008 @ 1:20 pm
MMA Fighter,
Lay low and wait the two weeks man. Chasing after a broad shows your needy or are at least very interested in her. Both will get you no where. Often times when you ignore or seemed disinterested in a girl it makes them want you (want what they cant have). If you run into her before, sweet, but other wise make the move for the number when you see her in 2 weeks. Be casual when you see her, talk for a short time and get that number when things are going well.
Give her one for me bro !!!
Comment by MAC — December 22, 2008 @ 5:23 pm
Hey, I started talking to this girl a short while ago, and after a while i told her i liked her as more than a friend, and she told me she felt the same way about me. She also told me she had to much for a relationship, and that maybe something would happen when she fixes everything. She acted nice around me, and we trusted each other with our lives. But one day she was acting kind of strange, and i asked her if she wanted to talk about anything and she rudely replied “I’m not talking to you”.
I am certain i must have done something wrong, but i honestly don’t know what happened. Can you give me some help, as to how to start up our relationship again? We don’t have to but girlfriend/boyfriend, i don’t care if she is just my friend, but i don’t know how to approach her about it.
Comment by Brandon — January 6, 2009 @ 2:26 pm
hey brandon it sounds to me like she is trying to see if she can play mind games with you, i had a relationship where things would be fine and then bam.. she would throw all this crap in my face, listen brother the best thing to do when they do that is ignore it and shove a little back act like her not talking to you isnt bothering you.
Comment by rico — January 13, 2009 @ 9:53 pm
I have a few tips for you guys.
1. learn to get MORE girls in your life instead of obsessing. trust me. been their.
2. remember to flirt and NOT be afraid that she KNOWS you like her. it’s mutual. See, girl need to know they CAN have you – with out you sucking up etc… not through your words but how you act.
3. BRANDON, my man!!!! rule #1 who cares what she thinks. start talking to other girls 1st. but don’t be like “hey i got this hot chicks number” to show off. “i like you as more than a friend” don’t tell that to girls though!(you shouldn’t have to) although it sounds like she likes you. but not THAT way. start on some1 new. but as far as friends go, dude, for me its SOOO easy to make girl “friends” you need to keep value & most of all, most of all ~~~ CALL HER ON HER B.S.!!! dude, i can think of a few ways to get around what happened(when it did) i’ve figured out -sometimes- you just gotta call B.S. dude. show that you wear the pants and they have holes, paint stains, and a effing wallet chain! cuz ur a MAN!!!
Comment by Crash — January 15, 2009 @ 2:34 am
i know this chick at church man she is so beutifull but everytime that i see her i do not know what to say please help me.
Comment by oscar — January 18, 2009 @ 10:26 pm
does anyone know how to get rid of bad breath….. its realy stoping me from getting chicks and effecting me in my social life
Comment by dd — February 17, 2009 @ 3:58 pm
Great points,
Dont throw yourself at her, so important!
nice recap
Colin
Comment by Colin of Day Game Dating — March 4, 2009 @ 2:39 am
Is it possible to have a girl as a g/f, even after you’ve slept with her and still been friends for awhile?
Comment by Geoff — March 5, 2009 @ 12:35 pm
Ok heres a situation i have. There is this girl that is one year younger than me. She is basically the girl that I’ve always wanted to date. Her personality, looks, everything. So… I got her number from someone else and decided to text her and joke around. Then at the end she said stop texting me delete my number haha. I think I failed. Anyways its so easy to go to physically talk to her.
Advice from here on what to do would be very helpful.
If I don’t get advice in a week I am going to try something crazy…. so post something and stop reading….
Comment by VRT — March 17, 2009 @ 12:57 am
When picking up women, you have to realize that it’s a little like fishing. If you pull too hard, too quickly then the line will break.
Translating this into the real world of dating:
If you text a girl that doesn’t even know you in the first place, or if you text her too often, then you’re going to fail.
Instead, you made a huge mistake of text’ing her without getting the number from her first. She has to want you to text her before you actually start! Unfortunately, you started off really bad and instead you’d be better off slowly getting into her social circle. From there, build attraction.
Comment by Chris — March 28, 2009 @ 10:30 pm
Hey, I totally lack the Confidence to talk to girls…What should I do?
Comment by Manu — April 25, 2009 @ 3:19 am
this is gold
Comment by Cage Fighter — May 22, 2009 @ 4:43 pm
Pretty Interesting article..Hold the reality.
You seem to be much more experience in dating culture..
don’t you?
Comment by Find your love — June 2, 2009 @ 6:12 pm
please send all your articles to my mail,I love them your really helping out a brother from another mother and you my undying unwavering unfortunate gratitude thanks twin (have the same name and interests) But you are officially my number one hero and mentor of women madness
Comment by chris — June 16, 2009 @ 1:51 am
Chris: lol, I’m glad you enjoy the article.
Manu: Read the articles on talking to women! Building confidence is something that takes a long time but the easiest way is to start off really small. Talk to normal people (guys and girls) and then work your way up to girls you find more attractive. It’s counter-intuitive, but talking to random guys will help you talking to girls. You just have to develop your chatting muscles in order to pick up women.
Comment by Chris Calo — June 22, 2009 @ 10:00 pm
hey, I have a female friend of the same age, we new each other in high school and i met her again now i am at college. We have grown closer over the past few months and i would like to take the relationship further, and i think she feels the same. i was wondering if you would have any advice on how to go about doing this without destroying the friendship if it turns out that she wants to stay just friends.
thanks to any who reply.
Comment by Josh — June 23, 2009 @ 4:57 am
hey, i have a lot of girl lovers but i don’t actually know which of them is the right girl for me. how will know or see the right girl for me.
Please help me out and i need the solution my problem right now please.
Comment by enoch okyere — July 2, 2009 @ 3:11 pm