How to make a girl want you
It seems that the biggest problem guys encounter is how to make a girl want you. The mentality of most guys is that only men like women initially… and somehow you have to convince them to like you in return. This fallacy has propelled men into trying to ‘win over’ women, as seen in so many Hollywood movies.
Unfortunately, this isn’t the rule, but rather the exception.
The general rule is that women are attracted as much as men to new people they meet throughout their lives. Its just that most women are used to being approached, so they won’t be as pro-active about talking to a guy they like. For men, its a different story.
They are used to being ignored by women, and that further propels the myth that women aren’t attracted to men. So with that frame of mind, they approach and converse with women with the “I need to make her like me” mindset. This is awful !
There is nothing worse than a person that is “Trying to make you like him!”
The first rule to getting someone to like you is to be at LEAST their equal in terms of status. A healthy relationship has both partners doing things for each other. One partner might work while the other raises the kids, one might cook and the other might build the deck and so on.
However, this is often taken out of context. If you’re at a bar, and a girl asks you to buy her a drink. She’s testing you to see if you’ll do as she bids. Why WOULD you buy her a drink ? The only context that this might be socially acceptable would be if the guy proposed: “hey, let’s get some drinks and then he casually bought hers.” By the way, if ever in doubt if you should pay or not when ordering something together… then pay.
The second rule of getting a girl to want you is to tease her! Teasing done right is flirting. If you’ve ever seen a cat jump viciously at a ball of string dangling from a height, then you’ll know how teasing works. It’s playful, fun, challenging and very addictive at the same time. Now some of you might not know how to tease properly, so I’d recommend you learn immediately. The best way being by reading the book Double Your Dating by David Deangelo, he describe exactly how to tease girls properly in a way that will build massive attraction.
If you want to learn how to make a girl want you, look at how women make guys want them. They dress up in attractive clothing, move in sensual ways, ignore guys, allude to your imagination and act aloof. Attraction is subtle, and girls seem to master the art. My best advice would be to befriend an attractive girl and pay attention to what attracts you to her.
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“befriend an attractive girl” – great idea – any tips on doing that??
Comment by Tom — April 17, 2009 @ 1:09 am
I did. It was so easy and ‘im not even good looking i’m overweight. she liked smoking and I always had smokes so i’d always kind of manipulate her into spending time with me by asking her to roll me blunts because i couldn’t and she knew i couldn’t. So as time went on we became BEST friends. Like she would call me every day and shes all i hanged out with for like a year. Now, everyone hates her who i want to party with so i don’t really hang out with her any more and she now has a boyfriend.
so yeah its really not that hard.
Comment by Dave — May 12, 2009 @ 12:14 am
Okay if u see a pretty girl give her a nice compliment like on her hair or nails or clothing etc …they will think that you aren’t all about sleeping with her and what not try it see how it works out for u
Comment by zach — June 2, 2009 @ 3:04 pm
One thing I have learned is that when you want a girlfriend too much, you are bound to fail.
Ever since I told myself “focus on other things”, girls didn’t matter, and I just basically ignored them.
It helps to work or go to school because it’s a very social place and it’s not awkward because you both are on the same level, so she really can’t think she’s better then you. (kind of like it states above)
It also has a lot to do with your personality, and how confident you are. Girls don’t like guys who are shy, scared, nervous, or caring of what people think of them, or more so if people are looking at them.
Basically work on bettering yourself, girls shouldn’t be a priority.
Comment by graham — June 11, 2009 @ 9:53 pm
So yeah i met up with a girl i used to give a ride to school every day and she’s like my dream girl… Problem is that she just came out of a bad relationship and has many guys after her…we have pretty much spent the last 5 days together and i’m going crazy… How do i know or get her feeling the same way??????
Comment by jade — July 24, 2009 @ 9:05 pm
Hello everyone,
I keep having trouble on trying to keep a wonderful girl to be interested in me. We txt each other more than just talking on the phone. One day I decided to call her, but I got so nervous. I could’t speak well and I started to stutter a lot. Sometimes I don’t know what to say, cause I think I will say something wrong. I’m afraid that she might reject me, cause of the way I am or live. If anyone could give me some advice, I would appreciated.
Comment by Noe Arroyo — August 11, 2009 @ 6:40 pm
you guys need to stop being suckers for girls, think of the girl like she should be lucky to have your time, once she sees notices that you have other priorities and you seem like your at the top, she will want to be with you, you don’t even have to win her over… she will just want to be with you because you don’t give her attention and she want to get your attention, and once you end up giving her your full attention she will get bored n leave you…. its the circle, so know what? Don’t be a sucker, and always tease her, flirt, keep her interested, but have one hand pushing her back along the way, and never give her your full attention and put her before other things.
Comment by john — August 23, 2009 @ 5:59 pm
“Basically work on bettering yourself, girls shouldn’t be a priority.”
I like that graham well said
DanJo
Comment by DanJo — September 1, 2009 @ 3:56 pm
my girlfriend out of no where decided she couldn’t be in a relationship with me no longer, from being scared, cold feet, to wanting to be alone maybe date other guys to this is how I am, to no longer having feelings for me, after only 2.5 months of dating…i admit things were intense yet we were apparently on the same page with want we wanted out the relationship, we knew each other back a long time, never talking though, hooked up 20 years later, what could of happened? her excuses don’t make any sense…
Comment by santiago — September 2, 2009 @ 12:09 pm
Damn … this I’m gonna try this out to a girl I’m in love with like crazy.
Comment by Chucky — September 11, 2009 @ 7:40 pm
I need some advice from you guys. I’m nervous when I’m dating a girl, so, what to think and what to say when I’m dating?
Comment by Smoke — September 15, 2009 @ 4:09 pm
Ok I need some advice there is this girl I like at work. Whenever we go for happy hours in groups with people at work she gives me all the attention like we are in our own world. Also she had came with a few times to get coffee and dinner and we talk for hours. Also after work we will talk for hours sometimes in the parking garage. I know she is very shy but at work she ignores me act like I don’t exist. For example if we hangout on the weekend, then on monday she will try to keep her distance like she barely knows me. What is going on???
Comment by James Tike — September 15, 2009 @ 9:40 pm
sad but i think you might be right john. props to you. no props to life. silly thing. how much time we spend trying to “win” something so meaningless. better yourself. better your mind.
Comment by gumby — October 7, 2009 @ 3:50 am
Women should never be the priority, it’s a sign of weakness really. You go out, you go out to have a good time. You go to the gym to feel good and you buy clothes that you like and make you feel good. If you get girls, it’s a bonus. Last year i got too serious about one girl and it turned into a disaster!
Comment by Sal — October 26, 2009 @ 4:31 am
@James Tike , i am having the same situation as you as well . The one i liked alot always get intimate with me everytime we are alone , like we talk and cuddles , we are very close when we are together alone . But during school hours , she ignores me quite alot and talk to other guy instead ! I’ve confessed to her that i like her but she didn’t do so , and lately she told me that i hurt her ego , so she wanted me to ignore her for three days before we get to talk to each other again . I felt very intensely depressed because of this and i can’t seem to focus on my examination and studies ! I prayed to God hoping that thing that i’m so afraid of won’t happen to me . And now i realize that what i should do is to be the best of me and change myself to be the better so that i can provide and be a better man that she deserves . One thing is for sure , this road i choose is going to be a very very tough one , wish me luck guys ! Best of luck to all of you that have the one and only you’ve feel in love too ! =)
Comment by Just A Kid — October 28, 2009 @ 6:01 am
if i send i girl a email that says good night would she know i like her
Comment by nicholas — November 14, 2009 @ 9:49 pm
come on please write back
Comment by nicholas — November 14, 2009 @ 9:50 pm
Oh come on nicholas…….. if you sent a girl email saying good night, she mite find it cute if she already likes you like that. If not, its like you….. shit forgat what i was going to say..
Comment by Roman — November 28, 2009 @ 12:34 am
Ok guys! So I met this chick! Shes frekin amazing! We’ve been talking a few weeks, and I think Im pressuring her/ giving her too much attention too fast. I told her Im going to back off and let her come to me… I did’nt hear back and texted her askin “when u wanna get together again”. Yeah.. no response.. So now that I kinda messed things up by pushing too fast, what do I do!? Im just going to leave her alone.. no texts.. emails.. nothing.. Hopefully she will come back! She is literially amazing! Just hope I didnt screw up 2 bad already
Comment by Matt — November 30, 2009 @ 1:30 am
Yep, I’m in a similar situation with a beautiful girl. She’s dating more than one guy, kind of choosing the best apple of the bunch. I almost feel like I’m being played, but hate to pass up on a golden opportunity. I mean, I have options too, but none that equal the beauty and professionalism as she portrays. The other guy she supposeadly dates is a frickin d-bag. I know I’m better looking, have a better career, and prob at least match his personailty in charm. So, I have to think of a way to cock block the d-bag by selling myself as Abraham Lincoln. However, I don’t want to be to agressive and scare the honey away. I need to exercise retraint, while trying not to let this drive me fuc*&ng crazy!
Comment by Rob — December 8, 2009 @ 8:14 pm
Ive just been playing it low key.. and it seems to be working
Good luck with ur D Bag!
Comment by Matt — December 10, 2009 @ 12:24 pm
Good point, just better yourself.. The girls will come along
Comment by Mobli — December 23, 2009 @ 12:07 pm
Hey, when he says to ignore them, it works like a charm. Not only will girls want you, they will text/call you, and when you do want to hang with them they will come running. Also when you give them little attention it allows you to meet new people and live life instead of chasing the girls.
Comment by Jake — December 28, 2009 @ 2:07 pm
Girls get bored when they receive a lot of attention from a guy, although that’s what they desire, the same things get tedious after a while. You gotta switch things up, tease her one night, maybe not reply to some of her texts one day, then another day talk to her a lot. Be sorta stubborn, don’t always give in to what she wants but always treat her with respect.
Comment by rich — December 29, 2009 @ 8:15 am
okay guys, im doing pretty good right now. i Messed up in getting too serous with my Ex EX girlfriend. i was sort of an ass to her at the beginning. I ignored her, didnt talk 2 her munch, she basically wasn’t very important to me. She fell in love with me and was crazy about me. little by little i fell in love with her and gave her my FULL attention… she screwed me. and got bored. she even told me herself i was annoying when i told her she was grogeous, etc. then she broke up with me. so after a bit, i sucked it up and moved on to another girl. now she (my ex ex) was super jealous and wanted me back so bad. i was such dick to her cuz she deserved it. and never ever payed attention to her. i told her to leave me alone soo many times. if i called her right now and told her to come over to my house, she would. so see, pay small attention to girls and act like a bit of an ass and they will want you. pay your FULL attention to them and they will hurt you.
Comment by Alex Perez — January 9, 2010 @ 10:59 pm
I started hanging out with this girl from work, we made each other laugh like crazy. There was a spark pretty quick, after a week it seemed like we were about to launch. I wasn’t pushing for intimacy too fast because I thought i’d take my time with this one and i didn’t want a bad rep at work. Then all of a sudden at a staff party she takes a co-worker(my friend) home. Next thing I know shes all into him from that night on. Did she do this to piss me off for not making a move sooner?
Comment by Brent — January 18, 2010 @ 10:49 pm
Okay this is what I’ve learned about girls. And alot of these guys are totally right. Girls definately want what they can’t have. Or better yet what they think they can’t have. Girls actually invented “playing games” and are masters at the art of being attractive. This power that they have feeds their ego when they can manipulate guys. Girls are totally used to getting what they want. Usually if a girl is your best friend 9 times out of 10 she has a thing for you. And it is definately more important to focus on other things than trying to get a girl. It really does happen when you least expect it. And girls definately want guys who are at least on their own status level. And the last thing the more you try and figure girls out the more it will just confuse the crap out of you. They are impossible to figure out. The best bet. Lie and convince her that your her best friend and by the time you know it she will have developed a thing for you. Then make a bold move.
Comment by Justin P. — January 19, 2010 @ 12:34 am
Oh and one more thing. I’m reading on here that alot of you guys are falling completely head over heels for what seems to be like alot of Perfect 10’s. That is a bad thing and you will not get what you want. She is already winning big time. You will think yourself into insanity in this situation. Somehow you have to turn this bad situation around. Get very selfish fast. Get out get a life and concentrate on making yourself all that in every possible way. Then pretend to be barely interested in her or just a good friend. These are the only ways.
Comment by Justin P. — January 19, 2010 @ 12:49 am
Best friend??? Then you’ll be in the friend zone -_- you have no idea what you’re talking about.
Comment by Tonner — January 23, 2010 @ 11:57 pm
The best advice that I could give all of you guys out there is to go into any situation with a woman as a man. If you are a pansy it will never work, no matter who you talk to or what stupid books you try to read. Once you realize that women need you more than you need them you will never have to log onto a forum like this unless it’s to help other misguided people out. I see beautiful women all day long, but once you fall in love or think some woman is “out of your league” you have failed! Dress how you want and talk how you want…. thousands of years of evolution has made man king of this world despite all of the feminist rantings that say otherwise. I love women and my mother is a feminist, but any woman I talk to knows that I am king in this world because I don’t give her a reason to think otherwise. Once you treat a woman different than a man or you put her on a pedestal you have reduced yourself to a whiny sensitive patronizing little boy….
Women under the age of 27 do not like to be monogamists because it is not in their nature unless you challenge their nature. The same way that the finest girl you have ever met can piss you off and you dump her is the same way that women are. Give them too much and they won’t need anything else from you.
Quit thinking with your dicks, guys! Your uber-sensitive attitudes and willingness to bend over backwards for a girl is the reason that you girl dumps you to talk to me.
Man up and realize who you are in this food chain. You are a man and she is a woman, and no woman is going to be swept off her feet by a man who is more caring and chummy than her friends. Let your girl do whatever she wants and go wherever she wants because a real man knows that his woman will always come back to him because he is a man…. just like a cat that you feed will always come back unless they don’t need you anymore. Women are like cats and most of you guys out there need them more than they need you.
No man should ever sell himself short and any man that can help should do his duty and say something before his fellow man falls…. but if you don’t have hope then we will let you do what you do because we need little whiny sensitive b*tches like you around to give women perspective on where they could be if they didn’t talk to real men like us….
Get at me and quit letting these woman walk all over you…. women are way more social than we are and they spend a lot of time talking sh*t about all the guys that are so sweet and understanding but could never do them right…. don’t be that guy.
Comment by SheCallsMeDaddy — January 25, 2010 @ 12:46 am
Brent…. the reason that you failed is because A. you probably mentioned the situation to a coworker who figured she was single and looking and knew he was a bigger man than you…. or B. she figured out that you were a slow-progress waste of her time and most women need sex more than we do…. contrary to popular belief…. they just need to go about it more discreetly than you or I. She found a man that can give her what she wants. I have showed a girl the bathroom and shoved her against the wall and started kissing her when we got there and have had amazing results…. it works if you know what you’re doing and make sure she’s not seriously about to leak and burst at the seams because then you’ll just look like an idiot…. you need to hang out with women before you can read them well so female friends do nothing but help your situation.
Think how much you want her and multiply it times 2 and that’s how much she wants you if she gives you the time of day and wants to hang out with you….. women get hit on constantly and approached all of the time. Any woman who makes time for you either likes you as a friend because you chose that or because you f-d up, or she wants you more than you know because you just can’t read the signs.
Most women are taught that men should make the first move in our American culture…. so the man who addresses the sexual tension and provides an outlet to either feed or resolve it will always be more successful than the man who denies it to be a “gentleman” or please a lady…. Women want a man, not a gentleman…. they just want a gentleman when they take you around the family or friends. I hope that this helps…..
Comment by SheCallsMeDaddy — January 25, 2010 @ 2:19 am
To: Justin P.
i agree with Justin, i accidentally made friends with a really cute girl that i liked by telling a couple jokes (and later on trying to make it clear that i wanted to be more than friends) and one thing led to the next and then were dating, in love and now we are engaged. This is the best time of my 21 years spent on this earth and i owe it all to accidentally entering the “friend zone”.
Comment by Terry — January 27, 2010 @ 8:01 pm
I’m friends with all of he girls at my school and even though it’s fun and cool it’s also quite bad as they all only see me as friends. I tried with a couple but they all said you’re too good of a friend so I’m going to become selfish and just focus on bettering myself and try to just not try and see what happens.
Comment by J — January 31, 2010 @ 6:00 am
If a girl is all that then being in the friend zone is better for you than being in the “this guy just wants to get in my pants” zone. Ever heard of the term “friends first”. It’s one of the only ways to win with the girls that are all that.
Comment by Justin P. — February 1, 2010 @ 2:16 pm
Getting a girl to want you is pretty simple, get to know them a little but once you’ve hit that certain point back off that little bit just to let her know she has to try as well, don’t fully ignore her just let act like your not interested and it’ll drive her crazy knowing that she can’t have everyone. I’m not amazingly handsome and not incredibly ugly, but just by following those simple directions i haven’t met a girl that hasn’t wanted me. Just be confident and believe you can do it.
Comment by Nath — February 6, 2010 @ 3:18 am