Ever wonder why so many women adore Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp? No? Well go figure, that’s because it’s freaking obvious. They’re famous, sexy and rich. Chances are that you, on the other hand, are neither famous or rich, in fact, even your good looks haven’t gotten you anywhere lately. But what if I told you that you can learn how to impress a girl even if you aren’t that rich or famous? Well brace yourself, because I’m going to share with you one of the most powerful insights into the mechanisms of attraction you’re going to learn.

Before I do that, though, let’s take a closer look at our “obvious” observation: the fact is, I’ve seen rich guys try to impress girls with their possessions and fail horribly – they either come off as posers or become “best friends”. Fame and money are fleeting, and you know it. While they last, they’re (at best) indicators for the character traits women seek in men. And you can fare wonderfully with the attributes nobody will ever take from you: find your personal value and play your cards right with it.

Now here’s the killer: men are are attracted physically, women are attracted emotionally. Spelled out, this mans that while us men are attracted to looks first, women often go for emotional impressions. Bear in mind that I’m generalizing here and of course, both looks and personality count for both sexes, so don’t become a dirty slob in torn clothes now. But do realize that your qualification standards are not necessarily the same as a woman’s.

Rich men tend to be successful. Successful men are usually strong, competent, determined and reliable. Men with those traits are attractive: they have a direction in life and create the means to get there. How about you? Do you have something you’re passionate about? Everybody does, you know. Go get it! Be enthusiastic about it. Ask any woman if she’s attracted if a man has that sparkle in his eye while talking about something he loves, and she’ll confirm. Don’t become preachy though: and you’re not there to convert her.

Chances are you’ve achieved quite a few things in life. Search yourself and make a list of your accomplishments (exclude your gaming high scores from it). Feels good, huh? You’re not so bad! Now you can use that confidence: when you’re with a girl, drop these things into the conversation. Slowly reveal bits and pieces about you – and don’t make a huge fuss about it. “Yeah, it’s a bit like that time I ran my own photo exhibition at the Main Center.” Hey, if you can mention that just in passing, what else do you have up your sleeve? She’ll be impressed.

Note, though, that you want to play your cards right. Rubbing your awesomeness in her face in the first 15 minutes isn’t being impressive, it’s trying to impress. Doesn’t work. I saw two guys at an amateur filmmaker party: one was all too eager to show off his DSLR and commonplace technical knowledge. The other had a confident calm about him, he knew perfectly well what he could do. He would occasionally reveal bits about himself and the rest of the time, he’d show genuine interest in the people around him. He ended up with two girls in his arms, the other went home empty-handed way before the party was over.

You should also be an attentive listener. Turn off your mind and be in the present (e.g. focus on your breathing and be perfectly aware of your body): “empty” yourself and you can take in what she says entirely. If she tells you about her hobbies, ask yourself: why does she do it? Share the hobby or not, the underlying emotions are common to all humans, and you want to communicate with her on that level. Let’s say she likes white-water rafting: it’s about the adrenaline rush and the up-close contact with raw nature. Is she a reader? Then she might enjoy the peace that comes when she sits down with a book and a glass of wine.

These are just some “tools” on how to impress a girl even if you aren’t that rich. Ultimately, you have to realize that “being rich” is just not what it’s cracked up to be. With everything you do, you need to be genuine and authentic: know your qualities and display them with care.