You want to learn how to be attractive to women – but how is a woman going to be attracted to you before you even know who you are yourself? Your first major step is to get your “inner game” sorted out: your confidence, steadiness, backbone and self-reliance need to be in place.
We’ve brought up this issue before, but it is so important that it deserves an article of its own: know yourself and become attractive. Do you know your core values, interests, what drives you emotionally, what defines you as a unique character? There are several areas in your life you can explore, and in a clichéd psychiatrist manner, my first piece of advice is: explore your past.
Find your reality by looking in your past
Obviously, you underwent your deepest and most fundamental transformations during your childhood and puberty, which plunged you into emotional turmoil and distress. We all remember those school days when we suffered through first love, tried all the outrageous things, when we often felt alone and misunderstood, and our friends meant the world. Once you grow beyond your teens, chances are you’ll settle into a more stable, uneventful life that flows evenly in its routines. This is when you should revisit your turbulent years and get back in touch with what made you tick, what drove your passion, which obstacles you overcame and which realizations you had.
Soul-searching
I’ll never forget the deep conversations with my friends – they were like a sport, we would sleep over at each other’s places and wander through the open fields at night to philosophize under starlit skies. Think about the friends you had, hopefully still have, where they are now, what they meant to you and what they mean today. Think about all you’ve experienced with them.
I also regularly revisit my CDs from that time: not only is the music still awesome today, as an added bonus, it evokes the same emotions and thoughts, hence “grounding” me. Music speaks to one particular sense, obviously, it’s hearing. Triggering our other senses can evoke strong flashbacks and moments of identification, too: think of smells that stayed with you – the smell of the roast your parents used to make on Sundays. Remember the taste as well for good measure. There are sounds, like the ticking of your living room clock, or movies, which spoke to your sense of seeing. That kind of “soul-searching” will make sure you don’t lose yourself – and that’s what “finding yourself” is all about.
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Building Attraction 
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Marriage therapy taught us that self-analysis and self-assessment are key to charting one’s way forward in the — not socially right direction — but in the personally right direction. This article just confirms it.