The Best Time To Get A Kiss On A 1st Date

How to Approach Girls

by Chris Calo on February 21, 2008, Revised on: February 25th, 2012

Its a shame that most men don’t know a single thing on how to approach properly because it is so easy if done in the right frame of mind. The approach should be an enjoyable experience for both you and the girl that you are going to meet. Now let’s examine the frame of mind that most men adopt when speaking to a woman for the first time.

Usually you can break down the process of the clueless man in a few simple steps.

How a clueless man approaches a girl

1. Sees attractive girl
2. Thinks about how attractive she is and weighs out if its worth talking to her or not. If she’s REALLY attractive and you think you stand a chance, then it might be worth taking a shot.
3. Tries to think of something to say but draws a blank, heart rate increases.
4a. Goes up to the girl in question, asks an awkward question that conveys absolutely no attraction and produces an awkward moment.
4b. Goes up the girl, tries to impress her and is mad when she walks away.
4c. Goes up the girl, acts cocky & completely out of tune with the rest of the social environment, creates an awkward moment.
5. Man ejects from the situation

You should do the OPPOSITE of all the steps above.

First, before you ever start approaching women, you have to know WHAT kind of woman you want. This is CRITICAL and FUN to do. Write out (or think really profoundly) the woman of your dreams. What does she look like? How does she walk ? How does she old herself ? How does she laugh ? How does she dress ? What kind of personality does she have ? Is she sweet, sexy, edgy, kind, cocky, sassy, smart ? What does she do for a living ?

Imagine her and have no limits. Do it now… I’ll wait.

Alright , I know you’re not doing it now, but do it after you finish reading, Ok ?

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{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

mike February 21, 2008 at 1:09 pm

thumbs up just for the comment. ahah!

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chris February 24, 2008 at 1:49 am

Great post, thanks for the tips

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approach girls October 15, 2008 at 12:57 pm

Great Post, its tips like these that get men some of what they lost with feminism. If anyone is finding it difficult to just ‘perform’ when they meet women and can’t seem to find the nerve to approach, try practicing on strangers, service people, etc. It helps, trust me.

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tom johannson January 3, 2009 at 1:38 am

hey thanks for the tips eh ill definitely see to it that i use these wisely

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jay jackson September 5, 2009 at 3:12 am

Wow, what a great insightful post. I think all the tips listed do help people in looking at things different. Thumbs UP!

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gumby October 7, 2009 at 3:43 am

I don’t think a meeting should be an interview. I think it should be mostly about casual fun. See if you get along first I think.

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dan December 3, 2009 at 8:41 am

i think there is not just specific way of a girl because girls act and think differently so using an ideal way i think don’t think it will work..

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John Doer January 11, 2010 at 2:03 am

Back when I was a bachelor, my buddy wanted to celebrate his new fortune so he and I went to a hot new “disco” (yup, those were the days!) in the city. We eyed two very attractive ladies dancing by themselves, so we went up next to them, did a few conservative moves, and bluntly told them that they were attractive and we want to join them. Both were pleasantly surprised, but one of the ladies recovered by smiling flirtatiously and letting us partner with them.

Unfortunately, my lady dance partner had to beg off after a few minutes because she said she was with her husband and they were celebrating their first year anniversary! She pointed to her watching but looks-amused guy. Damn that was embarrassing for me. Ha ha ha!

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shy_gemini March 5, 2010 at 4:23 am

I have been searching on how to approach girls and have came across several articles, but this article on this page summarizes it all… I’m out to choose!
Peace out!
Heal da World

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Christie April 17, 2010 at 11:40 pm

So glad some of you guys finally get it

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DeVante May 9, 2010 at 12:27 am

Thank you so much. This posting helped me build my confidence.

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Lowis December 8, 2010 at 3:00 am

This is great

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Tim December 20, 2010 at 1:11 pm

This is surely great and I hope it will help me but the problem is that am shy

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Chris January 5, 2011 at 7:38 am

Words of a true master… lol

thanks mate, now i just need 2 no how 2 conquer my shyness

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Joel January 5, 2011 at 6:27 pm

Hey I just would like to know if this book will really help. Im mean… right now im pretty good with the girls and dont really need much help but i would like some extra tips and just some things that I could say to strike up a conversation when i first meet a girl. So basically im just wondering if this book really does help??

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Z-550 May 30, 2011 at 10:40 pm

I am usually my friends wingman, and when I pick out a girl he always ends up getting her number, and I’m just there to help him. Now I can approach girls on my own and maybe even get a few numbers for myself! Thanks

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Marco June 11, 2011 at 10:52 am

Hey guys! I’ve read all these interesting approach phrases but… I’m from Italy, here everything is different!! What can I do if I try to say something and she turns her head on the other side and pretend I’m invisible?! That’s what often happen here…

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eagle August 19, 2011 at 8:30 am

being honest, approchable, funny, and daringly charming. these are my tools for approching lovely females. reading this article could really help lots of guys understand what type of girl to go for not just anyone. it is true being picky is a good thing. i think the most important thing a guy needs to do to feel more comfortable talking to girls is to practice! thats how i did it, practice talking to random girls it doesnt matter if they are “hot” or not just learn how to feel comortable talking to them. then you will natrually have a general impression of how girls think once you understand it will be more fun to talk to random girls. and if they blow you off brush it off!! enjoy your life and keep meeting new and interesting people.

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dave January 26, 2012 at 12:48 am

Pretend that you are walking up to some good friends when you approach a group of women? My friends would NEVER treat me that way and my friends are a pleasure to be with.
This is the worst “game” ever invented and I really wish you, your pickup school and your
students the best of luck. My life is MUCH better off without this very tilted, unfair game.

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