We don’t recognize how much it is an integral part of attraction, but beneath what we say and do, there actually lies a whole level of flirting that literally goes without saying! Body language is incredibly powerful and it’s by far the most neglected area of seduction. It mirrors your mood and emotions, and transfers them to the person you’re with. Allow me to show how you can present great body language by modifying your emotional state.

The role of body language in communication

In the 1960s, the prominent psychologist Albert Mehrabian found that only 7% of communication is determined by words. He left 38% to tone of voice and 55% to body language! His distribution has since been contested, but the consensus about the powerful impact of body language still stands over four decades later.

For your flirting and attraction, body language plays a twofold role, and it’s the classic chicken-egg situation, really:

First of all, your how you feel shows in your body language, and second of all, you can use your body language to influence how you feel!

Use body language to improve your state

Let’s do an experiment. As you sit on your chair, I want you to cross your legs. Fold your arms in front of your chest, lean forward. How do you feel? Would you say you’re very open and receptive now? If you had a person in front of you, could you easily emotionally connect to them?

Yeah, I don’t think so either.

Now, lean back, spread your legs apart a bit, open up your arms, lean them on the sides of your chair. Sit comfortably, take up some space. Do you feel the difference in your state? Now breathe calmly, and smile. These are some of the things you want to do when you’re interacting with a women. Your posture, in combination with good breathing, will release a lot of inner tension you may feel.

Some more pointers to build attraction

- Angle yourself to her instead of standing flatly full-frontal
- Tilt your head with curiosity
- Look at her from the corner of your eyes, squinting, with a coy smile that says “yeah, I know you’re up to no good”
- Be lively! Use gestures and movement to create momentum and energy
- Eye contact, eye contact, eye contact

Improve your state to spark great body language

Now, this is the really important part. While you can learn all the above by heart, it will only get you so far. Read the following closely: once you’re in a great, fun mood on the inside, your body language will fall into place! You have to learn how to amuse yourself in order to spark the vibes that will get a girl attracted. I’d like you to start practicing this: turn on a little voice in your head that constantly laughs at what happens around you.

When you interact with somebody, entertain that light-hearted part inside that just finds the whole situation hilarious. Don’t look for a reason! The emotion has to be there for its own sake. Imagine yourself as a mischievous kid with nothing but silly flim-flam in mind. Always ready to throw a pillow, stick out your tongue or bark at somebody just for the blast of it.

Now, the advantage you have as an adult is that you can control that kid inside. Interpret everything she says sexually so you can accuse her of being naughty. Also, make the kid stubborn, present playful challenges and resistance. And be 100% convinced of your own awesomeness.

“Right. That’s because you want my body.”
“Gee, that is just wrong.”
“So you’re a stalker, then?”
“I don’t think I can trust you after this.”
“Yeah I can totally see how you can’t live without being right.”
“So after work, you go to the park to stomp squirrels?”

The last important rule is that you must never stop seriously listening to her. With all the fun, sprinkle in comments that show you’re interested and understand what she says. Paraphrase some of her statements! Watch her posture and movements, and mirror her body language! That creates familiarity. You will notice how, with all these mannerisms, much of your body language flirting will fall into place.

Look outside your house

No, I’m serious here. Let’s talk about the basics. Open your window and look outside. Do you see a street? Yes? Good. I can tell you, women walk around in that street. Right there, in plain daylight!

You need to get over the idea that you need to have a special time and place to meet women. It should become an integral part of your daily routines. Now here’s the catch: you don’t just start doing that from one moment to the next. You need to practice. Start here:

Look in places you like

Get a good idea of your interests, and think of places that fit them. You’re into music? Find music stores or live venues. You’re into reading? Go to libraries. Chances are you’re already doing that anyway, right? Well, my hunch is that women who share your interests do the same.

Approaching them there is easy because the context is provided, and you feel at home in the place. This is your kinda venue! You need to develop some intuition about where you are and what kind of approach is sensible, however. A library or music store is not a place where men usually approach women. A woman peeking into a book on photography is not in party mode, she’s checking out a book. Don’t assume she expects to be approached. Instead, pace her reality:

“I noticed you were looking at…”
“That photo is really cool…”
“I was thinking of reading that book…”

The classics: bars, coffee shops, parties, clubs

Let’s look at a different environment: bars, coffee shops, parties or clubs are designed for social contact. You may find it harder to approach here: there is no more specific context here to work with – besides a social vibe.

However, you don’t need to justify your approach as much here. Places like this probably have many women in them, and you’re free to walk about and chat with all of them. You’ll create a “map” of the place and have your girls on it. Feisty here, shy there, heavy metal fan at the bar.

To approach, you can jump right into a more fun theme: “I thought you two looked adorable and had to come say hello”, you say with a smile as your eyes say “So, who do we have here?”. Come up with some silly stuff: this is an environment where people want to have fun, and you need to BE fun to bring it to their lives.

“Are you from around here?”
“I wish they sold ice cream at the bar!”

Or walk up give them a high five and then pretend that you’ve been friends for a long time.

Finally: start approaching anywhere

Now, what if you see a woman you like in the streets, on a train platform, in your office building? My favorite in these situations is to become very observant. In fact, this will work in any environment. Watch, listen, smell, taste, feel: use all your senses to take in the scene, and you’ll be surprised how quickly random conversation topics can crop up.

“You smell that? I love the smell of freshly baked bread in the morning.”
“Hey, I really like the picture on your shirt. I’m curious, does it mean anything special?”

When you approach, be positive! Point out something that you genuinely find awesome, and she will appreciate you for making her smile. Don’t forget that she probably has a regular, ordinary life and is on her way to something predictable. Bringing some unexpected sunshine and distraction into her routine, you do a great thing for her.

Ultimately, while it is surely important to have an idea where to meet women, you are even better off realizing that you can do so much more: bringing value to another person’s life does not depend on a specific place or time. Wherever they are, you have the freedom to approach them and spread some love. The “meeting” part happens naturally as you do it.

That girl just disqualified herself.

Yeah, I heard all the theories: beautiful girls get approached all the time, they put up an invisible shield to weed out the dorks, they are bored or annoyed by all the men hitting on them, or hey, they may just have a plain bad day. Fine, but you know what? In your reality, this kind of behavior just shouldn’t fly.

Here’s how you can react:

- Smile, say “Good Bye”, and leave
- Smile, clearly call her out on her behavior “I don’t know how you were raised, but where I’m from people have better manners” and then leave.
- Smile, thank her for saving you precious time and leave
- Laugh and leave

Put simply, your frame of mind should be that if she doesn’t have the decency to be nice, she is not NOT worth your time. I don’t care about her reasons, and neither should you. There are tons of women out there, and she just kicked herself out of the game.

Sorry, girl. It’s a Darwinian world.

Usually, if you call her out on her unacceptable behavior and walk away, she’ll come after you.

What? Come again?

Yeah, you read that right. You just broke through her barriers. You know why? Because

a) She didn’t expect a man to stick to his own reality, his standards.
b) She wants what she can’t have.
c) GIRLS ARE COMPETITIVE

She just realized that she’s losing you to another girl. There’s a good chance she’ll follow you and ask: “What? Why are you leaving ?”, or “I’m sorry I was just having a bad day!”. This is when you tell her that she’s not a friendly girl and that you don’t go for her kind. You’re glad you found out right away, before investing your energy in her, and you’re now going to find a nice and friendly girl. Simple as that. Although sometimes they’ll actually warm up quite a bit and you might want to give them another chance!

You can be polite about that. Don’t get rude in return, but be firm and clear.

It’s about your standards

Even though your reaction will clearly show her that her actions have consequences – something she probably rarely gets from men – this is not about teaching her a lesson. This is about you having standards.

This is the most important thing about what I just told you: this is only going to work if you really MEAN it! Sure, you may get some “leverage” by learning this material by heart and repeating it, but seriously, if it’s not your conviction, you may as well leave it alone. For your own good, realize these two things:

1. You actually ARE good enough to find a nice, friendly girl
2. There ARE plenty of nice and friendly girls around

There genuinely is no reason for you to stick around a girl that’s giving you a hard time, an attitude, drama, rudeness.

Get it? It’s ironic and counter-intuitive, but having better things to do with your time, that’s how you deal with cold women that put an invisible shield up around them! The clue is that you are not trying to “get” her attention, attraction, affection. You are walking up to her because she looks nice, and you want to “offer” her these things. If she behaves bratty, she loses that privilege. You extended an invitation, now you’re retreating it. Remember: I’m not telling you to kick women around or become macho. But be a man and assert your values – it will actually make you more attractive.

Let me tell you, he could nudge his attractiveness up quite a bit if he adopted the following reality: “How can the women here compete against the other GIRLS in here to attract ME?” The idea is that instead of chasing women, you should be working on getting them to chase you.

Social vibe dictates attractiveness.

What you need to realize is that there’s a greater dynamic going on here. You’re at a party, it’s a closed social environment in which people will observe each other constantly: nobody’s actions go unnoticed. Now, imagine how valuable it is to be socially successful in that place! Displaying a great social vibe will boost your attractiveness, believe me.

In fact, this applies to any environment. How people perceive you determines your attractiveness. It’s pretty logical, when you think about it.

Is this girl up your alley?

Now let’s put you in that position at the party. What a glorious vantage point.

There’s one way to find out: go and test the other girls. Wander off and mingle. Find out how the other girls roll, what their desires and goals are, yes, in fact, if they even know what they want, and if they match your standards. Shy girl wants to get laid, but is too shy to say so, skinny girl loves the seaside, laid-back girl is a sculptor, bouncy girl has a damn good fashion sense. This recon work gives you two benefits:

1. You establish a “ranking” of the present girls
2. If Flirty doesn’t work out, you still have Shy, Skinny, Laid-Back and Bouncy!

Isn’t that an amazing position to be in? Now, if Flirty is really up your alley, go back to her and say the following (and I dare you to do it):

“Hey, I just spent an hour talking to all the other girls in this place, and you’re my favorite because [insert VALID, SOLID REASONS here, and I don't mean her boobs]. Come over here and sit down with me, I want to learn more about you and grope your legs while I’m at it.”

She’ll love you for it. You know why? Because she has a big ol’ red sign in her head saying “How can I compete against the other girls in here to attract ANY guy?” Trust me. I’ve seen it. You just answered that question for her, with concrete arguments, made her laugh AND implied that her legs are hot!

What if she doesn’t want you?

Hey, let’s be real. She may say “yeah well I have a boyfriend”, or “sorry, but I’m not interested”. Are you gonna crawl up in the corner in a fetal position? No! Remember what I said above. You say “Thanks”, turn on your frickin heels and go back to the other five you have in store. Oh, and while you do, be sure to watch her kick herself over letting you go.

You have to learn one thing: women are COMPETITIVE. I saw a friend talk to a girl at a party and then move on to another one he liked more. I asked the first one later and if he got her number. “No”, she said. “He’s making out with some French chick now.” I asked: “Is somebody jealous here?”, and she answered: “Well, maybe juuuuust a little.” Never mind that she talked to three others in the meantime herself!

They See What’s Going On.

Let that be a lesson to you. The next time you wonder how to be attractive to women, turn that question around and ask yourself how THEY can be attractive to YOU. Do it for yourself, and do it for me! I’ve grown afraid to people-watch because I see so much misery when I do. Make my world a better place! Go out, build your social proof and get the girl!

I remember that one day when I was talking to an Italian friend of mine. She had recently moved to another country: “I am disappointed in the men here”, she sighed. “In Italy, the guys are so forward with us girls, we have to swat them off with tennis rackets. But here, it feels like nobody notices me.” On that day, I had a fundamental insight: women want to be noticed! So many men out there wonder how to understand women.

Here’s how I do it: I talk to them, and I ask questions.

To Understand Women: Spend time With Them

It’s so funny how anybody will tell you: “If you want to know something, just ask”, and yet, it only occurs to the fewest to ask women about what they want and feel. Of course, just walking up and asking “what do you want?” is hardly going to cut it. Your first step has to be: get women into your life.

I’m not telling you to build a harem here, or collect lovers like butterflies. Harry and Sally notwithstanding, you can actually just be friends with women. In fact, giving them the “let’s just be friends” line first is a nice technique to heat them up for ya, but that’s another story. Anyhow, guess what, female friends are highly beneficial. You don’t only have the chance to meet their hot friends, and the friends of those friends, but you also get to peek inside their hearts and minds. So…

1. Get a female roommate and hang out in the kitchen when she has her friend over.
2. Make friends with girls at work – or even older women, why the heck not?
3. Socialize with the ladies, take them to the movies, do your favorite things together.

The opportunities to talk will come naturally, and so will the opportunities to listen! Your curiosity will get you a long way now.

Become comfortable around them

Just a side note. Of course, this requires overcoming that irrational fear of women that inextricably binds so many men to their right hands. If you’re one of those dudes, you need to push yourself out there. Get yourself a training plan. Start with two approaches a day and don’t judge the outcome. Then move forward from there.

Learn About Women By Asking Them Questions.

Now it’s time to go more hardcore. With all the insights you accumulate from friends, you can get even more valuable stuff from women you approach or go on dates with. Let me give you a little nugget here: acknowledge that you are a student of life and love, and do not hide it.

Women will actually appreciate you for putting in all that effort to get good with them. So, as soon as a woman ends a conversation, or a date ends with the classic death-sentence “bye, it’s been nice meeting you”, or a contact fizzles out, get your balls together and ask her:

“Hey, I am really curious. We had this good start, but at some point, it seems like I lost you. What happened?”

In fact, sometimes the girl may not be too sure about that herself, and that’s fine. See what she comes up with! Perhaps she’ll end up saying “actually, you know what, I don’t know that myself. Why don’t we go for a drink?” Others will give you very clear reasons, tell you where you did what to turn them off. This is hands-on knowledge – from the mouths of babes, as they say.

On the other end, if something turns out well and you end up getting her, you can ask her (preferably after you sleep with her):

“I’m really curious. When did you know we’d sleep together?”

What I’m saying is: Your curiosity will get you a long way. He who is not inquisitive will not learn about women, and he who will not learn about women will not get ‘em. So throw your inhibitions out the window. You cannot lose here. Ultimately, you can’t understand women unless you’re around them on a regular basis!

What do women want, then?! Here’s the answer: they want a man who knows what he wants – and gets it. Does this contradict the attributes I mentioned above? No! And I’ll tell you why – after this.

Know what you want, and get it

I think the main problem about love is that members of both sexes negate their personality as they try to win the favor of whoever’s around and vaguely fits the bill of what they yearn for – which would be, uh, well, like, I don’t know, sorta, love, I guess. They obsess about that person, determined not to screw up this one lead. Well, you know what happens?

1.They screw up this one lead
2.They miss out on all the awesome people they could meet

No pain, no gain.

Women want a man that knows precisely what he loves… but here’s the catch: they want that to be them! Women want you to love them for exactly who they are. For instance, if you like tall, athletic, blond women who are a bit of a geek with a quirky sense of humor, then go find one! Everyone wants to be adored for who they really are, nothing more, nothing less.

Here’s the problem with most women you’ll meet:

I’m sorry to break this to ya, buddy: but if you pick whoever’s around then it is very likely NOT the best person you could have. Sure, you can probably hit it off with that frustrated, horny girl you meet at a friend’s party, and hey, at least she kind of likes the same movies you do. I’m sure you both agree that your partner will do the trick until someone better comes along. But be honest with yourself: is that the way you want to live? Hey, funny, I just mistyped that as “love”. Hang on, let me spell that typo out: Is that the way you want to LOVE?

If your answer is “no”, then you should get three things straightened out right now:

1. Get a precise idea of your values and standards

I mean this. Get yourself a notebook and fill in the following sections:

a) Things that make me unique (no matter if good or bad)
b) Things I like
c) Things I don’t like
d) Looks and personality of my ideal partner

Keep updating this notebook, and read it every morning. It’s counter-intuitive, but doing this will transform you into the man that women really want. You’ll be drawn to find this woman, and in the process you’ll become the man she wants you to be.

2. Get the social circle you want

Seriously, what’s with the idea that the people in your immediate environment are the best you’re gonna have? There are 6.7 billion humans on this planet! You have all the choice in the world, so why waste even one more minute with people you don’t really care about? I’m sure they’re great, but they’re not your kind of crowd! That’s right. Get your butt out there and create a social circle that YOU appreciate. If you can’t do that, you can’t even begin to get your kinda lover.

Women will unconsciously judge a man’s personality by his social circle. In many ways, that will be an accurate estimate, too. Women must like your world, and that includes your friends and family. So get good friends, it will help you out more than you can ever imagine with women.

3. Do not stop until you get the lover you want

Apply the same kind of scrutiny to who you pick to share your precious time with. What do you want? Be clear about this! Do you want some ass-grinding on the dancefloor and a one-night-stand? Then don’t talk to her about her favorite food for hours. Get to the booty and see if she complies! You want a genuine vibe, understanding and casual sex? Qualify and then lead her. There’s a partner out there for every need! Don’t waste time with the friend of your best friend who just happens to be there, when the one you WANT is sitting at the bar waiting to be approached. I know it’s been repeated over and over, but women want you to know what you want and for you to be looking for it!

Should you tell her what you want as a man?

Well yes and no.

For one, she’ll already know. Women are very perceptive and if you really like her, she’ll feel it. Of course, it’s alright to tell a girl a specific reason why you like her but don’t go gushing over why you like someone as soon as you’ve met them. For one, you don’t know them enough yet! The worse thing you can do is break down and start confessing your love for a hundreds of reasons… especially when you don’t really know her.

If a girl tells me she likes me because I’m smart, but I just met her 5 minutes ago, then I know it’s based on absolutely nothing. However, if we’ve known each other for 3 years and she lets me know, then it has an entirely different meaning.

So what’s with the whole “Smart-funny-mature-sensual” we had at the beginning, when we asked “What do women want”? Well, I’m here to tell you it still applies. See, the thing is, all these attributes will come naturally when you know exactly what you’re looking for in a woman. You’ll radiate a sense of certainty that most men don’t have and women crave.

It went really well and made a lot of guys REALLY happy. Why? Because Richard always puts out great material and the DVD helped a lot of guys learn exactly how to act with women.

In fact, the giveaway went so well that now he’s back and giving away even MORE STUFF!! (Yes, I’m excited about it)

This time he’s giving away his brand new Unstoppable Attraction DVD

This program contains his best material and teaches you how to meet hot women and build a huge amount of attraction using simple step-by-step instructions (including what to say!) And because Gambler made it, I know it’s great stuff even though it’s just coming out.

Click here to get it now!
http://www.artofseductions.com/unstoppable-attraction/

That’s not all either…

Richard is adding MORE goodies to those who *take* his Unstoppable Attraction DVD…

The extra goodies he’s going to throw in the box (in addition to his Unstoppable Attraction DVD) are:

1. His classic “The Natural Art of Attraction” book (a bestseller on Amazon.com, and it’s completely sold out! That’s how popular it is)
2. A month of his “mPUA University” (Monthly coaching)
3. A 30 minute phone session with a PUA Training instructor (Ask him questions, you actually get to talk live to a pro that teaches this for a living!)

That’s really a lot of stuff for absolutely nothing (remember, he’s giving all this stuff away, just like last time!)

However, he’s only giving away 500 sets! So if you decided that 2010 is the year where you’re going to become amazing with women, get it Unstoppable Attraction and extras quickly before there are no more!

Merry Christmas guys!

I think it’s an appropriate time to take to be thankful for what we have and look forward to the future. I know there is a negative stigma that surrounds websites that give dating advice such as these, but ultimately what I hope to achieve is to help each and every one of you find love in your life. I think the criticism comes from the fact that people falsely believe that ’seduction’ sites such as these give advice that will miraculously trick women into liking you.

That couldn’t be further from the truth!

As I’m sure most of you have already noticed, the founding principles of Art of Seduction are about improving yourself and presenting a genuine version of yourself to the world. Sure there are better ways to present yourself, little tricks to overcome approach anxiety and guidelines that you should take to have a great date (and we’ll teach that), but it’s the real you that makes the difference. That’s why I encourage everyone to grow, become the best person you can and you’ll attract an equally beautiful person into your life.

In the end, that’s really what it’s all about and it’s times like Christmas when you’ll appreciate it the most.

Sincerely,

- Chris Calo

It’s like a beautiful girl walking down the street, can she really do anything to stop guys from looking at her? Well, she could dress up ugly and not wear any makeup, but you know what? It still wouldn’t work, people would still pay attention to her because her beauty glows. I’m going to show you how to be so attractive that you’ll even get attention when you’re feeling down and you’re having a bad day. By the way, this stuff is a little deeper than usual but I promise it will be worth it.

What attracts women

One of the things that I tend to hear a lot in the comments is that guys try to trick or convince women to like them. It’s as if women aren’t supposed to attracted to them but if they learn the right stuff, you can trick them into liking you. Stop! Because that’s not how it works! You can’t trick anyone into liking you. Women are much more perceptive than men and they’ll smell any technique that you try to use a mile away.

The real answer to what attracts women is: men.

Yes, as blatantly simple as that sounds, that’s what women want. In the same way that heterosexual guys want girls, girls want guys. So just by being you, you already have all the material to attract a woman. The second you walk into a room, women are going to be attracted to you JUST because you’re a guy. You don’t even have to do or say anything, just being you is attractive.

In fact, some guys tend to screw it up by saying too many things.

Don’t try to convince a woman to like you!

As soon as you go into “let’s convince her to like me” mode, you’re instantly communicating this message instead: “I don’t think that I’m good enough for you, so I’m going to try to win you over.”

Instead, the attractive man realizes and KNOWS that women like him just because of who he is.

But first, he must like himself. So that’s what you have to do is you want to attract women, you need to like yourself. Here’s the reasoning behind it: The person in the world that knows you better than anyone else is… yourself. So if you know yourself better than ANYONE else, and you dislike yourself, then what does that say about you?

It means that somewhere, deep down inside, there’s something that’s wrong with you. People might not be able to see it, but they’ll take your word for it.

Be Beautiful

Well now that I’ve told you what makes you unattractive to women, all you need to do to be a chick magnet (I can’t believe I just used that term) is do the complete opposite. If you love yourself, and I mean that in a truly genuine way, in the sense that you’re proud of who you are and what you’re doing in life, it will show. People will assume that you like yourself for a good reason and they’ll assume that you’re a likable person. How you feel about yourself is something that you just can’t fake and it will immediately show when you meet someone.

You know what liking yourself does? It creates curiosity in others. Girls will automatically be curious to know… “Why does this guy like himself so much? What IS it that makes him smile? Why is he so happy?”

The absolute best part is that when you concentrate on creating a great life for yourself, you’ll actually have answers to all those questions. Maybe you’re smiling because you just came back from windsurfing, or maybe even because you run a successful business. Maybe you’re happy because you’re helping people or because you take care of your body. When you create reasons to be passionate about yourself, others will be passionate about you as well.

So that’s it, if you want to know how to attract women at the deepest level, you need to have hundreds of reasons why you love yourself and wouldn’t trade places with anyone else in the world. When you reach this state, women will flock to you like seagulls on french fries, and you won’t be able to turn it off. Physically, you’ll wake up with a smile and walk around with your head up straight, proud of being who you are.

I’ll give you a little revelation, and it may come as quite a surprise to you because it works without any magic phrases, tricks or safety nets. Before I do, though, let me take you back into my past – and possibly yours, too…

Roots of anxiety: freaking girls out when you were young

In my early youth, I went through a phase when I was very open and curious about anybody. There was a girl that I wanted to get to know better. So being innocent and knowing nothing about seduction, I followed her on the way home to talk to her. In hindsight, it was probably the most needy thing I could have done! As you can imagine, she wasn’t really receptive! See, my curiosity was surely fine, but by following her around, I freaked her out so much that the next time I tried the same thing, she actually physically fled from me!

Even when you’re young, you don’t have to be a genius to realize that having a girl run away from you probably isn’t the best thing in the world!

Reactions like that from girls had made me insecure when I was young. I started thinking there was something wrong with being curious, and I became quite anxious about talking to strangers. You may relate to that. Experiences like this and the resulting anxiety have kept me from being open with girls for many years.

Then I realized: there’s nothing wrong with flat-out telling a girl that you like her!

How to tell a girl you like her: just do it!

Now you hear them yell: “but that’s being clingy and needy! You’re handing her your balls on a silver platter!” Well I’ll tell you what: if you make it clingy and needy, then it is. However, you have control over how you relay your message to another person: between us, women really like to feel appreciated and loved. But they want to feel the love is a privilege they earned with their personality, and that they’re getting it from somebody who’s in a strong enough position to give. You enjoy a girl’s company?

Be open about it – but do it in the right way.

That’s the key here.

How to tell a girl you like her

A-ha! We’re back where we started. So there’s more to it after all. Okay, first of all, you want to do it when it feels right and natural. That means DON’T do it within the first few minutes after meeting her. Do it at the end of a date! “Hey, I think you’re an attractive woman and I like your style.” Suggest another meeting (might be good to have some cool event planned beforehand: “why don’t you join me on Friday, I’m going to this party?”).

Remember this: your purpose is to add great people to your life. You’re not saying “I like you so very much and all I want is for you to pleeease stay with me”, you’re saying “I like you because you do/are this, and I’d like to keep you in my life.” First of all, your mindset has to shift from “wanting to become part of somebody else’s life” to “inviting the person to be part of yours”. You’re offering that woman the chance to be part of your (awesome) life because she has earned it by doing/being whatever makes her great.

In doing so, you’re not only giving the person major validation, you’re also leaving it up to them to accept!

Confess love to a woman for the right reasons

And that leads me to your second shift: your outlook has to change from “if she doesn’t accept, my life will fall apart and I will cry myself to sleep” to “I’d like to have her in my life, but if she doesn’t accept the invitation, it’s not a problem.” You’re not losing anything, are you?

And that’s it for today. One last interesting point is that as a kid, you probably instinctively knew how to tell a girl you like her: isn’t it funny that we lose some of our natural, innate social skills when we grow up? Social convention, media, or troubled teenagers dealing with their blossoming sexuality sprout all these ideas in our head that cover up something we used to pull off without any effort. Well, here’s your tip: regain it. Be open and genuine.