Recently, I found a great article on CNN on easy ways to be an optimist and I thought… Wow, I bet a lot of guys could really use this!

You know, when you’re trying to get better with women, you’re going to have a lot of set backs.

Keep in mind that what really matters is:
It’s about how fast you can bounce back on your feet after you get knocked down.

Now the article “Easy ways to be an optimist” provides some of my personal favorite ways to stay optimistic in those situations.
1- Smile, the muscles in your face affect your mood
2- Focus, what you focus on will determine how you feel.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/06/24/how.2b.optimist/index.html

Every man at some point in his life has dreamed of becoming the legendary “player” – the man who has the abundant choice of women. In today’s day and age, so many resources are available on how to become a player. So why aren’t there more men out there with the women they want?

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As a guy, learning how to talk to girls can be one of the most challenging and rewarding skill he can acquire during his lifetime. Would you agree that being able to carry a proper conversation with a girl would solve a LOT of problems ?

I know many guys agree that this is one of the most neglected aspects when it comes to dating advice, and yet, it is so critical to succeed!

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Pick Up Lines are one of the most misunderstood, misused techniques of meeting and attracting beautiful women. All over the world, people have the misconceived idea of a magic “pickup line” that will cause a woman to throw off her clothes and jump into bed with you.

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If you’ve ever wondered how to attract a woman, then look no further. The answer is simple:

Be attractive.

So what do women find attractive?

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All of us have felt approach anxiety at one time or another. You see that girl from across the room and you think to yourself, “I want to meet her.” You get ready to approach when suddenly your chest constricts. Your palms feel sweaty and thoughts start running rapidly through your mind. What if she doesn’t like me? What if everyone sees me bomb with this one girl? Maybe I should get a drink first and wait for the opening… Congratulations. You’ve just been hit by approach anxiety.

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Walking up to my third girl of the evening, my mates look at me and wonder how I can remain so calm. In an old style Irish pub, where every group seems to be keeping to themselves, I stand out as being only person who seems to be talking to everyone.

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It’s a shame that most men don’t know how to talk to a woman. With these few basic guidelines, you’ll be chatting it up with all the most attractive women in no time. The trick with talking to girls is with the subtleties.

The first rule of talking with women is to replace the word “talk” with the word “communication”. When you adopt the idea that you want to communicate with another human being, it takes the emphasis off the words themselves, which are only a small part of communication anyways.

Real communication is actually 20% words and 80% body language & tonality.

“It’s not what you say, but how you say it”

So let’s get the words out of the way first, since it’s the easiest and it’s likely that you want to know that anyways. We’ll save the best (the other 80%) for later! (Continue Reading…)

If everyone was picking up girls on a consistent basis, there wouldn’t be many left now would there? It’s a good thing that most men don’t know how easy it is to pick up a girl and are frightened to even attempt!

The definition of a successful pickup would be to engage in a new interaction with a woman and create enough attraction for her to want to see you again. Unfortunately, what I usually see is a far cry from that. I see men concentrating on ‘getting the number’ and they seem to completely lose sight of the actual goal.

Although it’s true that sometimes getting a number CAN be a sign of success, it is not necessarily an absolute victory. What’s the point of getting a number if she won’t go out with you afterwards? Sometimes women give their number out just to get rid of a guy…

Successfully picking up women can be easy as long as you follow a few guidelines:

1. Have a good opener

An opener is a line that breaks the ice and begins a conversation. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it feels natural. Don’t talk randomly start telling a girl about a wind surfing story if you’re in the grocery store… she’ll wonder why. Sometimes an opener can simply be “hi”.

2. Create some attraction

Why should this person continue talking to you? After you open the conversation, you should convey that you are an interesting person worth talking to. This can be by telling a story about what you’re doing, or simply saying something funny that will make her laugh.

3. Pull back and get to know her

Interactions should never be one sided. In a successful pick-up, you should BOTH want to talk to each other afterwards. This is one of the major pitfalls that most guys do… they get a bunch of numbers but they never call because they never got to know the girl in question.

4. Close

The whole idea behind picking up girls is to further the interaction with them, so when you’re done, make sure to create a little commitment and excitement for later. Either get a number, email (not as good) or some way of seeing each other again because it’s always more fun the second time!

It seems that the biggest problem guys encounter is how to make a girl want you. The mentality of most guys is that only men like women initially… and somehow you have to convince them to like you in return. This fallacy has propelled men into trying to ‘win over’ women, as seen in so many Hollywood movies.

Unfortunately, this isn’t the rule, but rather the exception.

The general rule is that women are attracted as much as men to new people they meet throughout their lives. Its just that most women are used to being approached, so they won’t be as pro-active about talking to a guy they like. For men, its a different story.

They are used to being ignored by women, and that further propels the myth that women aren’t attracted to men. So with that frame of mind, they approach and converse with women with the “I need to make her like me” mindset. This is awful !

There is nothing worse than a person that is “Trying to make you like him!”

The first rule to getting someone to like you is to be at LEAST their equal in terms of status. A healthy relationship has both partners doing things for each other. One partner might work while the other raises the kids, one might cook and the other might build the deck and so on.

However, this is often taken out of context. If you’re at a bar, and a girl asks you to buy her a drink. She’s testing you to see if you’ll do as she bids. Why WOULD you buy her a drink ? The only context that this might be socially acceptable would be if the guy proposed: “hey, let’s get some drinks and then he casually bought hers.” By the way, if ever in doubt if you should pay or not when ordering something together… then pay.

The second rule of getting a girl to want you is to tease her! Teasing done right is flirting. If you’ve ever seen a cat jump viciously at a ball of string dangling from a height, then you’ll know how teasing works. It’s playful, fun, challenging and very addictive at the same time. Now some of you might not know how to tease properly, so I’d recommend you learn immediately. The best way being by reading the book Double Your Dating by David Deangelo, he describe exactly how to tease girls properly in a way that will build massive attraction.

If you want to learn how to make a girl want you, look at how women make guys want them. They dress up in attractive clothing, move in sensual ways, ignore guys, allude to your imagination and act aloof. Attraction is subtle, and girls seem to master the art. My best advice would be to befriend an attractive girl and pay attention to what attracts you to her.