All of us have felt approach anxiety at one time or another. You see that girl from across the room and you think to yourself, “I want to meet her.” You get ready to approach when suddenly your chest constricts. Your palms feel sweaty and thoughts start running rapidly through your mind. What if she doesn’t like me? What if everyone sees me bomb with this one girl? Maybe I should get a drink first and wait for the opening… Congratulations. You’ve just been hit by approach anxiety.

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Walking up to my third girl of the evening, my mates look at me and wonder how I can remain so calm. In an old style Irish pub, where every group seems to be keeping to themselves, I stand out as being only person who seems to be talking to everyone.

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It’s a shame that most men don’t know how to talk to a woman. With these few basic guidelines, you’ll be chatting it up with all the most attractive women in no time. The trick with talking to girls is with the subtleties.

The first rule of talking with women is to replace the word “talk” with the word “communication”. When you adopt the idea that you want to communicate with another human being, it takes the emphasis off the words themselves, which are only a small part of communication anyways.

Real communication is actually 20% words and 80% body language & tonality.

“It’s not what you say, but how you say it”

So let’s get the words out of the way first, since it’s the easiest and it’s likely that you want to know that anyways. We’ll save the best (the other 80%) for later! (Continue Reading…)

The basic rules of how to start a conversation with a girl you’ve never met are simple: keep it simple, keep it fun. When you talk to a woman for the first time, remember that she doesn’t know you and anything too intense will push her away. Instead, use these conversation starters to get her more interested.

1. Situational Conversation Starter
Make a comment about something around both of you at the time.

If you’re at the library, mention something about the librarian at the door or even about the funny security guard at the entrance. An environmental opener can be used anywhere, but it does take a bit of quick thinking depending on where you are.

2. Direct Conversation Starter
Just say “hi”

Sometimes just saying hi is enough to get a decent conversation started. This works especially well in boring situations such as waiting in line. If there’s nothing special happening and you are both bored, then saying hi will just come off as being social.

3. Starting a conversation with an opinion
Some men feel more comfortable jumping right into a topic with an opinion on a certain situation.

The advantages of this is that it automatically leads to a full fledged dialog about whichever topic you introduced. The disadvantage however, is that if you randomly ask for someone’s opinion, they might think you’re polling a survey or something. They might be on the defensive right away since people automatically avoid salesmen on a daily basis. The one context where an opinion opener will be acceptable is in a social environment in which everyone is already talking, ie: party or a bar.

4. Beginning a chat with a comment about her
Now this is risky but can lead to a quick and successful conversation if done right.

By noticing something unique about her, she will be likely to want to engage in a conversation to talk about her favorite subject, herself. For example, if a girl is wearing a huge hat, she’s doing it for a reason: she wants to be noticed and for people to talk to her. So just pick up on these subtle (and sometimes obvious) cues.

These are the most efficient methods on how to start a conversation. Once it’s started, you will need to have something to say to continue chatting with her! One of the best resources to read so you never run out of things to say is the book Double Your Dating by David Deangelo. The words printed on the pages of his book have a way of sticking in your brain and will make you a better conversationalist than you ever thought possible.

In today’s relationships men seem to have problems with how to love a girl. I say this because most of what is said about dating revolves around playing hard to get and never revealing all your emotions. This can be really contradicting if you want to show a woman that you really love her.

A lot of men will be reluctant to demonstrate their love for a girl because they claim it shows a sign of weakness. This fear is not really about weakness, but rather the fact that they fear that they will be hurt if the girl doesn’t reciprocate the feeling.

If you’re going to love a girl, love her for who she really is, including her qualities and her faults. This usually means that you will have to get to know her before declaring your love which is a step that many guys skip. In fact, if you truly know the girl in question, you’ll already know how she feels.

Once you know, and you feel the moment is right, just tell her directly. There’s no sense in playing it safe, you’re either all in or you’re not.
Best of luck !

If everyone was picking up girls on a consistent basis, there wouldn’t be many left now would there? It’s a good thing that most men don’t know how easy it is to pick up a girl and are frightened to even attempt!

The definition of a successful pickup would be to engage in a new interaction with a woman and create enough attraction for her to want to see you again. Unfortunately, what I usually see is a far cry from that. I see men concentrating on ‘getting the number’ and they seem to completely lose sight of the actual goal.

Although it’s true that sometimes getting a number CAN be a sign of success, it is not necessarily an absolute victory. What’s the point of getting a number if she won’t go out with you afterwards? Sometimes women give their number out just to get rid of a guy…

Successfully picking up women can be easy as long as you follow a few guidelines:

1. Have a good opener

An opener is a line that breaks the ice and begins a conversation. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it feels natural. Don’t talk randomly start telling a girl about a wind surfing story if you’re in the grocery store… she’ll wonder why. Sometimes an opener can simply be “hi”.

2. Create some attraction

Why should this person continue talking to you? After you open the conversation, you should convey that you are an interesting person worth talking to. This can be by telling a story about what you’re doing, or simply saying something funny that will make her laugh.

3. Pull back and get to know her

Interactions should never be one sided. In a successful pick-up, you should BOTH want to talk to each other afterwards. This is one of the major pitfalls that most guys do… they get a bunch of numbers but they never call because they never got to know the girl in question.

4. Close

The whole idea behind picking up girls is to further the interaction with them, so when you’re done, make sure to create a little commitment and excitement for later. Either get a number, email (not as good) or some way of seeing each other again because it’s always more fun the second time!

You know it’s funny that a lot of guys who aren’t even dating on a regular basis are trying to figure out how to get a girlfriend. If you’re clever, you already spotted step 1 to getting a girlfriend: go on dates.

Dates can be thought of as a trial period to see if you want to get to know another person or not. The first date being the most important of them all as it sets the tone for the rest of the relationship, no pressure!

When dating, each subsequent date must progress more and more. If the first date as great and the second is a flop, then you can kiss (or not) that potential girlfriend goodbye. Ideally, you would want to become closer with your date every time you go out together. In other words, the third date should be more physically intense than the first one! If you aren’t growing, then you’re dying.

In order to grow together, you want to set the tone right away that you are a potential mate and not ‘just a friend’. The closer of a friend that you become, the harder it will be to change that into a relationship. This applies to girls and guys alike. You’d be amazed if you knew how many girls had crushes on their ‘best guy friend’ and he just isn’t interested.

If you’re looking to turn that woman into your girlfriend, then you’ll need to be interesting enough to want her to get to know you more. If you lead an interesting life, then show her a piece at a time, keeping her intrigued. If you show her absolutely everything on the first date, then there won’t be much to go on later on. If you already read the book, then watching the movie version won’t be as compelling because you’ll already know exactly what happens. It’s more fun to be surprised.

The part that most men lack is to create massive attraction while you are dating. It’s a shame because they really have all the pieces except for that one last little piece. Fortunately, it can be solved by simply reading a few good books on the topic. The man I recommend the most on the topic is David DeAngelo. He shows you exactly what it takes to create massive attraction and get that girl you’ve been wanting.

The last and most overlooked part in how to get a girlfriend is that you must look for someone who is compatible with you. If you’re a geek that enjoys playing video games, then go for a hot geeky girl that enjoys playing video games as well. If you’re into going outdoors, then find a girl that enjoys the same things as you. Getting a girlfriend can be a very rewarding experience if you choose right and will enhance your quality of life to levels you never thought possible.

If you’re here, then I’m going to assume that you’re determined to learn how to pick up women. I’ll tell you right away, the fastest way to learn is to hang out with guys that are already successful at attracting women on a consistent basis.

Assuming you don’t have any of these friends around you, let’s move on to the second fastest method to learn, practice.

There are a few concepts that you should master in order to successfully engage and “pick up” a woman. First, I don’t really like that the term pickup, because it automatically puts the guy in a situation where he’s chasing the woman. Now this might often be true, but ideally, you don’t want to come off as a guy who’s hunting for women.

The right attitude to adopt when you’re going to meet women is to think of it as a mutual selection process. You’re going to go talk to her to simply find out if you would like to know more of her. Likewise, she’s going to assess if she wants to know more of you or not. Kind of like when you go shopping for a car, you need to investigate, ask questions before committing to a certain choice.

That way, when you do make a choice (ask her number, kiss her, etc), it will seem natural and logical. The problem with most guys is that they see an attractive woman, decide RIGHT in an instant that they want to sleep with her, and then go to talk to her caring about nothing else but getting her into bed.

From the woman’s perspective… a random guy approaches you and you KNOW he’ll say anything to please you and will likely DO anything you ask him as well. Immediately, for no reason, she has complete power of a man who’s throwing himself at her.

Don’t throw yourself at her.

Instead, ask her interesting questions that she won’t hear every day, tease her whenever she answers wrong ( according to your standards ) and try to see if she fits your mold of the ideal woman. She might not even know it, but she’ll be doing the same to you!

So let’s break this down into simple steps.
1) Figure out what you want in a woman (preparation)
2)Approach a woman, say something interesting / captivating / entertaining.
3) Referring to Step 1, speak about topics that will allow you to know more about her while telling herself about you.

For example, if in Step 1, you realized that you wanted an adventurous girl in your life, then in Step 3, you could mention a story where you did something adventurous yourself… from that, see how she reacts. That’s normal conversation! When you supplement light conversation with smiles, teasing and light touching (kino), it becomes flirting.

To recap, the absolute best way to learn about how to pick up women is to hang out with guys that are good at it already. If you don’t have this luxury, then the next best thing will be to practice. The best book I can recommend on picking up women would be one written by David D. He’s one of the guru’s on the subject and his book is currently the #1 book on the seduction charts.

If you’re wondering how to make a girl like you, then you must ask yourself: How can I make myself like me ? The truth of the matter is, if you truly like yourself, then others will as well.

Are you a fun person to be around ?
Are you genuine, trustworthy, social ?
When you wake up in the morning, are you happy to be who you have become ?

If the answer to these are yes, then people will naturally be attracted to you and will like you for who you are. The problem lies with people who are unhappy with an aspect of themselves, and then try to cover it up so that people will like them.

Don’t be that guy !

The fastest way to get women to like you is to overcome the part of yourself that you don’t like.

For example, if you’re anti-social, and you just don’t like talking to people… then force yourself to get out of your shell and go socialize with others.

Practice this, live this, and work through it step by step.

One of the most attractive qualities ANYONE can have is to overcome something that was difficult for them. If you’re a shy guy, and you make an effort to go out, then that’s respectable. Same applies to women… Its very attractive to see a woman step out of her normal safe boundaries, trying things that normally would scare her.

Afterwards, once you genuinely like who you’ve become. All you need to do is show the other person who’ve you become.

Of course, you’ll want to do this in a slow, subtle way. No one wants to be around someone who brags all the time. Bragging lowers your value because it puts you in a position of trying to impress someone else.

Once you’re happy with yourself, and that you’re comfortable with where you are in life, everything else will come naturally.

One way to accelerate the process of becoming your ideal self is to hang out with guys who already posses the traits that you desire. If possible, try to find people that have qualities that you lack and hang out with them. Otherwise, if this is not possible, then the next best way is to learn directly from dating gurus like David DeAngelo. David has a great way of describing exactly how to make a girl like you.

In the end, you really can’t force anyone to like you, but you certainly can affect what kind of person you are. Are you going to be a good catch or a loser?

1. Clear, beautiful and healthy looking eyes. Eyes provide an insight on the level of health of the individual, and healthy eyes indicate a healthy mate. It was also surveyed as the most attractive feature according to various women’s magazines.
2. A confident attitude towards life. Confidence indicates that you are successful and are to be trusted. When you trust yourself, others will as well. Women will trust you with themselves
3. Physical height. Height provides a sense of security and comfort which is very attractive to women. Being taller is also a dominant trait which is attractive. Ultimately, if you are short but can provide a feeling of security and comfort, this will be equivalent to height.
4. Physical strength, muscles. Being muscular provides a sense of excitement and security in women. It also alludes to dominance which will seduce most women.
5. Being funny. Laughter makes people feel more comfortable and happy. Also, when people are laughing at your jokes, you immediately gain social status which is attractive. If you can make her laugh, you’re half way there. Read how to make a girl smile.
6. Being witty. This is very attractive as it alludes to being smart, and intelligence is attractive to women. If you are dating then wit will be a big part of your evening.
7. Being wealthy.Wealth indicates power, security, comfort and even excitement. This is very attractive to women whom crave all these feelings.
8. Being playful. Playfulness means that you are fun to be with, consequently triggering feelings of attraction in women.
9. Being touchy. Human touch is a powerful way to trigger feelings of attraction. Naturally touchy people have a lot more sex than people whom refrain from human contact. This is important when you flirt with a girl.
10. Bravery. Being brave, alert in emergency situations is very attractive and indicates that you will be able to protect her from danger.
11. Being excited about life. The energy that people emit when they are excited about living is contagious and very attractive.
12. Being unavailable. People want what they can’t get. Being hard ( but not impossible! ) to get is attractive.
13. A cocky smile is attractive. Cocky smiles, demonstrated in movies such as James Bond and Top Gun triggers feelings of confidence and dominance which is extremely arousing. Read up on how to pick up girls for more information.
14. Genuine smiles in general are attractive. As long as they are a reaction to something that occurred and not because you are being polite or awkward.
15. Being concentrated on a task is attractive to women. If a woman can watch you while you are completely involved in a task, then she is likely to be attracted to you. Examples of this can be her watching you paint, play an instrument, anything you do well that requires full absolute concentration on your part.
16. Playing an instrument is attractive to women. Wonder why the rock stars get the girls… there are many reasons but those whom play music are automatically ranked more attractive than those who don’t.
17. Being famous.If you’re famous, then by definition a lot of people know you. If a lot of people know you, you are therefore important. Being important is very attractive to women.
18. Not caring. A care free attitude is liberating and very attractive.
19. Being well dressed. Wearing nice clothes demonstrate social status; accentuate your physical features and shows that you take care of yourself.
20. Unique accessories that match our personality. In our society, accessories that stand out provoke curiosity, confidence and will attract women. “What’s that necklace you are wearing”, says the girl at the bar. That is one of the dating tips for how to attract women.
21. Shoes that are in style. The first thing that most girls notice in guys is what kind of shoes they are wearing. Shoes speak more about you than all clothes. You can be wearing a diaper on your head, jeans from the 80’s… but if you’re wearing brand new shoes that are in style, girls will automatically see you as attractive. If you don’t have the shoes… get them.
22. Well fitting shirts. Baggy shirts are out! Shirts should complement your body and show off your features. Now I’m not talking about spandex, but regular well fitting shirts. You know why suits look good? Because they are tailored to fit you perfectly. This is attractive to women.
23. A deep, commanding voice. Your voice says a lot about you, literally. The next time you strike up a chat with a woman, don’t sound squeaky.
24. Body posture. Within 1 second, just from how you stand, women will judge you as attractive or not. Good body posture indicates that you are a healthy mate and is very attractive to women. Lean back.
25. Human smell. Sweat, at a very basic level, is very attractive to women. It triggers feeling of arousal in women. However, don’t go too far and stink. That’s repelling.
26. Some light, musky cologne. These smells will mimic the natural smell that males produce and used lightly, will arouse some females.
27. Leadership. Being a leader is very attractive to women, it demonstrates social status and importance. Make decisions, lead the pack.
28. Being dominant. Women are naturally submissive, and men should be naturally dominant. Unfortunately with all our yoga classes and hormonal milk, this has changed in the past century.
29. Being dangerous. Danger is hot, exciting, energising and can be very addictive. Women love the bad boy.
30. Being intelligent. Intelligence, demonstrated by high grades, an impressive line of studies or career is very attractive.
31. Being good with animals. Being good with living things indicates that you will be a good mate, capable of protecting and caring for any offspring you could potentially have. This is very attractive.
32. Being good with kids. Same as above.
33. Being genuinely interested in her. People love people whom are interested in them. If you genuinely want to know what makes her tick, this will be attractive.
34. Being the best, in a group of men. If you are the best out of the competing men, then out of that group, you will be the most attractive to women.
35. Being disciplined. People want to be surrounded by competent individuals. If you are able to control yourself when she can’t, she will see you as having a lot of willpower. This demonstrates that you are in control of your life.
36. Not taking life too seriously. Having the gift to be able to laugh at life and embrace it as an enjoyable experience. You don’t have to think about marriage every time you talk to a girl.
37. Being positive. Positive people are attractive. If you can show her the sunny side of things, she will thank you for it.
38. Being a little selfish. Being slightly selfish indicates that you care a lot about yourself and your well being. This relates to confidence and importance which are attractive. Don’t be a martyr.
39. Being generous. The complete opposite of being selfish, being generous can be attractive as well because it demonstrates that you are not needy and that you are wealthy. Note! Being generous does NOT mean you should buy things for people so they like you… this is not attractive. A good example of being generous would be, if you’re with friends, you could purchase the pitcher of drinks. This subconsciously communicates that you are in charge, dominant and wealthy.
40. Spontaneity. Very attractive, alludes to excitement.
41. Good hair. Having nice, healthy and well groomed hair shows that you take care of yourself.
42. Trimmed nails. Women notice, if you take care of yourself, she’ll appreciate it.
43. A slight tan. These days, a tan indicates that you wealthy and physically healthy.
44. Relaxed attitude. Being relaxed shows a lot of confidence.
45. Being driven. If you know what you want in life, and you’re pursuing it, this is attractive.
46. Nice teeth. It is very important to have nice teeth, women think about it every time they consider kissing you.
47. Having nice possessions, such as a car, house or a boat. These indicate wealth, excitement and power, all of which are attractive.
48. A sense of adventure. If you’re curious about life, and are willing to take risks. You can lure her into your world and she’ll be happy to follow you past her limits.
49. Honesty. Being able to speak the truth is difficult and shows that you have accepted who you are as a person. It also shows that you don’t care what others think, which is very attractive.
50. Whispering in her ear. The sense of secrecy, mysteriousness and excitement that comes from a whisper is very attractive.
51. Being busy. If you are busy, then you are important, independent and have a life.
52. Being a man. Women love men who do manly things, stop doing yoga and go play a sport, hit the gym and get dirty.
53. Having a nice butt. A sexy fitness indicator, attainable through the gym.
54. Pre-selection. If other women want you, then there must be a reason. Having many people want you makes you attractive. You aren’t a guy who has time to look at personals.
55. Being genuine. Say what you mean and do what you say. This is hard, but attractive.
56. Physically picking her up. Ever heard of sweeping her off her feet? This is it.
57. Touching her hair. There is something about having your hair touched that is relaxing and arousing at the same time.
58. A nice face. Women love men with an attractive face. That’s what she’ll be kissing and you better believe it makes a difference.
59. Originality. Women crave excitement, originality provides that. Seduction is never the same and being original is an essential part of it.
60. Experience. Maturity can be very arousing; if you know what you’re doing she’ll appreciate it and you’ll get laid more often.
61. Speaking to her true self. If you can see past the walls that most people put and truly speak to the real person inside of them, you’ll be one of the few that understands them. This makes you very important.
62. Independence. People don’t like neediness, being independent shows that you are self sufficient and can take care of yourself.
63. Teasing her. Playfulness, excitement, she loves it.
64. Composure. If you can keep your cool under stressful situations, she’ll notice.
65. Being selective. If you are selective, then it implies that you aren’t needy and are valuable enough to want many people want you.
66. Being challenging. Playing hard to get is as true for women as it is for men. People want what they can’t have, and if they have to work for something, they’ll appreciate it much more.
67. Focus. If you know what you want, and are determined to get it, then that’s attractive.
68. Modesty. No one likes a show-off. Being modest is great, and attractive. There is nothing better than a girl finding out something good about you through a friend.
69. Muscular abs. An indicator of health.
70. Being natural. If you’re genuine about how you feel, without caring what others think, then that’s attractive. You want to know if people can handle the real you.
71. Charismatic. If your spoken words and gestures can warm up a room, she’ll notice and be warmed up as well. If she doesn’t, her matchmaking friend will tell her about you.
72. Sensual. Some people are frigid and cold. Some people are warm and very alert to their senses. If you are in tune with your body, you’ll likely be in tune with hers as well.
73. A man that loves to have fun. Everyone wants to be around a guy who enjoys himself, be that guy.
74. Goes against the rest of society. No one likes a follower. If you have a conviction about something, stick with it. Make up your own mind about things and people will respect you.
75. Caring. Compassion and caring show that you will be a good father and is therefore very attractive.
76. Persistent. If you go after your goals, other will notice. This is very attractive as it shows will power that not many people have.
77. Being respected. If your entourage respects you, then she will as well.
78. Loyal. People do not want to get hurt, and will avoid you if aren’t loyal. It is better to remain single than to get into a relationship you don’t plan on staying in.
79. Romance. Spicing it up in a relationship is critical and attractive. Don’t always do the same thing because it will get boring really fast.
80. Drama. Ever wonder why women love soap opera’s? It is because they crave drama, gossip, secrets. It is exciting and attractive. If you have an eventful life, people will be attracted to it.
81. The way you move. If you have calm, controlled and relaxed gestures, then you will be seen as someone that is confident.
82. A mysterious grin. There’s something about a grin that arouses curiosity and intrigue.
83. Being extravagant. Sometimes going over the top is good, if you can let yourself go from time to time, people will notice.
84. Loving yourself. If you truly love yourself for who you are, then others will as well.
85. Being a teacher. Have you ever wondered why so many girls have crushes on their teachers? It is because being a teacher is a sign of power and knowledge, be a teacher.
86. Clean, clear skin. Physically, nice skin is a health indicator and women will naturally be attracted to healthy looking skin.
87. Being energetic. Have you ever heard the expression, “he was the life of the party” This is energy, its contagious and most people don’t have enough of it. It is very attractive.
88. Being passionate. Be in the moment and enjoy life every day. It’s not about the destination, but about the journey. You’ll find your true love along the way.
89. Quick mind. If you can think on your feet, and are quick to reply to her playful teases, you’ll be seen as smart and alert. A woman would rather be with a man that stimulates her intellectually rather than someone who is brain dead. It is much better to find something original to say on the spot rather than to use pick up lines.
90. Attentive to details. It’s the little things that matter, if you notice that she’s done something different with her hair when no one else does, she will appreciate and be attracted to that.
91. Convicted and has strong beliefs. Be opinionated about things. If you ask someone a question about a topic and they have something interested to say about it, that’s attractive. Be opinionated.
92. Being in tune with her. Being in tune with someone is one of the biggest factors in relationships. Have you ever felt chemistry? Have you ever felt like you were on the same wavelength? If you and your partner are similar (and you should!) this will come naturally and will be one of the most attractive traits. The same applies for meeting women during the day or night. If you’re picking up a girl in a club, then high energy is appropriate because your energy will be matching hers. If you arrive with high energy during the day and she is reading in the library, this will clash. Read the article on how to approach girls for more information.
93. Being attentive to details in your life. Are you meticulous? Being attentive to the details in your life will mean that you will pay attention to the details in her life.
94. Being knowledgeable about various subjects. If you are versatile, then you’ll never be short of conversational topics. Being flexible and able to adapt to all kinds of situations is attractive. Go read some books.
95. Innocence. It’s no fun when you know everything, have tried everything and have been to the edge and back. A little bit of innocence is attractive because it makes you more human. There’s always something that you haven’t tried, let her know and invite you to try it with you. Asking for her advice is alright as well.
96. Challenging her. Forcing her to be on her toes, teasing her, is exciting and attractive.
97. Be a planner. If you are always organising events, you are automatically the leader that has a high social status and a lot of energy. This is very attractive; everyone wants to be invited to outings.
98. Being open. Tell her about your life, the real one. Cut the B.S. and you’ll stand out as someone who’s not trying to prove anything to anyone.
99. Being direct. Being direct is very powerful and attractive. People use indirect methods because they want to ‘feel things out’ and not get hurt. Being direct shows that you are confident, bold and not scared of rejection.
100. Be yourself, the good yourself. You shouldn’t try to pretend to be something that you aren’t. You should grow and continually improve, but remain genuine. Don’t hide your faults, everyone has them. The old saying,” be yourself” is very true and is ultimately what will attract the woman of your dreams.

Does it mean that you have to be all these things in order to attract beautiful women into your life? No way! The universe has a weird way of working and you’ll be attracted to the one you were meant to be with. She’ll love your faults, your weaknesses and your strengths. Have faith, believe in destiny and you shall meet your soul mate. You’ll know it when it happens.

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