Shhh! I’ll tell you a secret. I’m good at people-watching. I was at a party yesterday, and I saw this guy chatting with a flirty girl: as I watched them, I could literally see a big red sign flashing in his head: “How can I compete against the other men in here to attract that flirty girl?” I’m sure this guy spends a lot of time wondering how to be attractive to women.

Let me tell you, he could nudge his attractiveness up quite a bit if he adopted the following reality: “How can the women here compete against the other GIRLS in here to attract ME?” The idea is that instead of chasing women, you should be working on getting them to chase you.

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