Walking up to my third girl of the evening, my mates look at me and wonder how I can remain so calm. In an old style Irish pub, where every group seems to be keeping to themselves, I stand out as being only person who seems to be talking to everyone.

How did society manage to get to the point where we isolate ourselves into little groups, only communicating when absolutely necessary?

But..

Talking to women IS necessary.

As I casually go from woman to woman, trying to figure out which one I like the most this evening, I wonder why others aren’t doing the same. To some men, this comes naturally, to others; they don’t have a clue where to start.

If you’re wondering what separates the ones who have “it” and the ones who don’t, I’ll fill you in on a little secret:

It’s all about the frame of mind you adopt!

When most men speak to a woman for the first time, they automatically go into the “Let me win your approval” mode.

It’s intuitive to try to get someone to like you when you first meet them, but unfortunately, the more you try, the less you succeed. The problem is that men OVERDO this and REPEL women away.

Instead, the approach of a successful male is to “figure out if HE likes the woman”. When you meet a woman for the first time and you’re genuinely interested in knowing who she is, and if she measures up to your standards, you automatically put yourself in a desirable position.

Anxiety disappears because YOU become the one who is choosing instead of the opposite. Although it may take a while at first, the ‘shopping for women’ frame of mind makes approaching much easier.